Harmony Central Forums
Announcement
Collapse
No announcement yet.

"I Wish It Were You" -- WIP, brand new

Collapse



X
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • LCK
    started a topic "I Wish It Were You" -- WIP, brand new

    "I Wish It Were You" -- WIP, brand new

    The title just popped into my head, and I quickly sketched out the lyric.

    What do you think? Anything here?

     I Wish It Were You

    Baby, I


  • Lee Knight
    replied

    LCK wrote:

    The title just popped into my head, and I quickly sketched out the lyric.

    What do you think? Anything here?

     I Wish It Were You

    Baby, I

    Leave a comment:


  • rsadasiv
    replied
    I think it is good. I can definitely hear you singing it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Monkey Uncle
    replied

    It's certainly a subject matter that's been done before, but if anyone can put a fresh twist on it, you can.  I think you're off to a good start.

    A few things that mildly bugged me:

    The "fait accompli" line.  Too much of a frou-frou term for me.

    Not sure about "where no memories pop into view."  I like the sentiment, but the word choice seems a bit strained.  But this could be one of those things that irons itself out when it is sung.

    The last line of the bridge seems too short for the syllable and stress pattern that has been established up to that point.  Again, this concern might go away when I hear it sung.

    Leave a comment:













Working...
X