Members grace_slick Posted January 4, 2013 Members Share Posted January 4, 2013 Any suggestions or comments welcome, as usual.http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12088507 Shattered glass Broken this time Nothing but shattered glass You made me quiver with your kiss Then you made me invisible with a flick of your wrist Kisses blown to solid walls Just how far did you let me fall Ohh, you told me we would always last Ohh, your words have no meaning, they just shatter glass When I fell in the way of harm Did you wish for me to sleep forever, not return to your arms You told me to remember But it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted January 4, 2013 Members Share Posted January 4, 2013 Very nice, very listenable. The perfect Grace song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted January 4, 2013 Members Share Posted January 4, 2013 Lovely to listen to Grace (as always). I'm just a bit confused reading the lyric however. These are the parts referring to shattered glass :Shattered glass Broken this time Nothing but shattered glass Ohh, your words have no meaning, they just shatter glass Ohh, but in my mind, there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted January 4, 2013 Author Members Share Posted January 4, 2013 Hmm, yes, I did notice that actually, but I didn't think it was a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted January 4, 2013 Members Share Posted January 4, 2013 Originally Posted by grace_slick Hmm, yes, I did notice that actually, but I didn't think it was a problem. OK - you've noticed it - that's the main thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members leftyaxeman Posted January 4, 2013 Members Share Posted January 4, 2013 Pretty damn good, great vocal. Sounds very personal, a problem I have in my songwriting, getting that introspective, I'm more an observer in my writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marshal Posted January 4, 2013 Members Share Posted January 4, 2013 Lover the chorus "Open my heart" stuff. That's spectacular. The "Ooh, you told me" parts left me a little musically off. I think I wanted to hear the second chord in the progression as a major, not a minor. That sort of threw me off every time it passed by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marshal Posted January 4, 2013 Members Share Posted January 4, 2013 Also you tenses are putting me off. "Just how far will you let me fall" will give it some urgency. As listeners, we want to be in the middle off the emotions; not after the fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted January 6, 2013 Author Members Share Posted January 6, 2013 Thanks guys! Marshal, the tenses thing I actually changed to and from a few times, with the Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted January 7, 2013 Members Share Posted January 7, 2013 Originally Posted by grace_slick And thanks LCK, if I neglected to say earlier! You did, but I didn't mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members leftyaxeman Posted January 23, 2013 Members Share Posted January 23, 2013 Grace Slick--- "Lefty, thanks for the comment! Yeah, when I first started writing songs NONE of them were even remotely personal. I found it embarrassing and too exposing to do that sort of thing, and didn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted January 24, 2013 Members Share Posted January 24, 2013 A couple of things lyrically If the words had no meaning they wouldn't be able to shatter glass. The meaning might be empty and that very well could be why they shatter your glass.I also couldn't help but think of some art I've seen made out of broken glass. Beautiful stuff. I really like the way you turned the metaphor with the last line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted January 25, 2013 Author Members Share Posted January 25, 2013 Thank you! This song seems really old to me now, even though I only did it a few weeks ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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