Members LCK Posted February 11, 2013 Members Share Posted February 11, 2013 Here's the current version of the lyric, along with a guitar/vocal/whistling demo. I Wish They Were You(2:45)1.Why can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nat whilk II Posted February 11, 2013 Members Share Posted February 11, 2013 Very much in the Steve Goodman vein, at least to me. Which is a real positive. One little suggestion - maybe take out the word "process" and substitute "meantime" instead. "Process" is such an inelegant, industrial term in it's connotations. nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted February 11, 2013 Members Share Posted February 11, 2013 The verses are lovely, but the bridge felt wrong somehow. First off, the opening melodic note was too similar to the rest of the song, so even though the chords changed, I didn't get the proper set of change. It also felt more free-form, as if you were just winging it, if that makes any sense. You often spring unexpected chords, but they almost always feel right once I get used to it. I'm on my third listen now and the bridge still isn't hitting my ears quite right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted February 11, 2013 Author Members Share Posted February 11, 2013 nat whilk II wrote: Very much in the Steve Goodman vein, at least to me. Which is a real positive. One little suggestion - maybe take out the word "process" and substitute "meantime" instead. "Process" is such an inelegant, industrial term in it's connotations. nat whilk ii Thanks for the Steve Goodman reference. That's very gratifying.You're right about the word "process." Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted February 11, 2013 Moderators Share Posted February 11, 2013 Yeah, the shadows couplet is a winner. Nice. And the chord/melody change seems like it might do the trick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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