JUMP TO PAGE TWO!!!!!
I passed this through a while back and got pretty far along, but let it drift away before the final coat of polish was applied. Here are the lyrics and a demo, with some additional details beneath.
http://picosong.com/wnY9 - please be aware a few lines are sung differently. The text below is more up-to-date.
You wake up on the couch again
All stiff and sore, the TV spinning
The same old tune it played the night before
It's haunted you since your high school days
You never could get your poor ass laid
And you played the game like a total God damned fool
So you [COLOR="red"]hitch to the first girl who gave
A token shred of appreciation
[COLOR="red"]But now she's gone and you don't know what to do
So you crawl out of bed
And grab a cigarette
And you try to clear your head
Your friends they try to fix you up
Just play it cool and have some fun
Hey! I've got the perfect girl for you
Another day you still don't phone
It's just as well you've always known
[COLOR="red"]She's too good for you anyway
Questionable areas are in red
1) "Hitch to" sounds too much like marriage, which isn't exactly what I meant to say. I suppose it could be taken that way, and maybe it is even stronger if it involves a divorce, but it's really just about putting too much faith in that first love.
2) I really wanted to convey that she wasn't the right person in the first place, but am struggling to say that within one line (or perhaps two with a rewrite of the "hitch" line). Right now it is too up-in-the-air why she is gone.
3) "She's too good" - is supposed to convey that ALL girls are too good, a serious lack of self-worth and confidence, but I don't think it quite pulled it off. At the very least, is it clear that "she" is the woman his friends are setting him up with?
Some additional thoughts
* Marshall was looking for some more clarity in the chorus, the root of the matter, but I can't pull it off. I'm open to a rewrite if offered some specific direction, but a simple nudge isn't going to be enough at this point.
* LCK wasn't a big fan of "appreciation", but I really like how it sings, so it stays for now, barring a total rewrite of that line to solve problems #1 and #2 above.