Harmony Central Forums
Announcement Announcement Module
Collapse
No announcement yet.

Turn Another Corner - Lyric tidy up

Page Title Module
Move Remove Collapse







X
Conversation Detail Module
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Turn Another Corner - Lyric tidy up

    So... Phil/OGP (the co-writer on this) is out of town for the week and away from a computer. I've got the basic groove, basic instrumentation, and the full structure laid out in Pro Tools. I love this stage of things. It's not yet, but it is GOING TO BE real. The foundation is very real. We have form and substance. No longer just an idea.

     

    Here is the lyric as it stands. I've bolded the bits I don't like and feel need improvement. Ideas?

     

    Turn another corner

     

    V1

    This same old endless street   

    Stretches out before me         

    Knowin' who I'll meet           

    And what I'm gonna see

    (Evr'thing) lined up straight     

    ...It's not too late...

     

    Chorus

    Turn another corner?

    Lighten up my stride?

    Turn another corner?

    Maybe realize

    I could be getting warmer??

    Looking for the prize

    If I turn another corner          

     

    V2

    Direction has to change or

    I'll wind up where I am

    I feel a brand new phase

    Just doing what I can

    Think I'll jump the tollgate     

    To embrace my fate and

     

    Chorus

    Turn another corner?

    Lighten up my stride?

    Turn another corner?

    Maybe realize

    I could be getting warmer??

    Looking for the prize

    If I turn another corner                                                                                  

     

    Bridge

    Not trying to hope here for

    Some sweet utopia

    To find perfect love the perfect job and friends

    Just want the freedom to

    Create my own Eden so

    This tired routine, recurring dream, can end

     

    End Chorus

    Up around the corner

    Just around the bend

    Turn another corner

    Watch my world extend

    Turn another corner

    New beginning and an end

    Turn another corner

    ___

  • #2

    (Current)

    Direction has to change or

    I'll wind up where I am

    I feel a brand new phase

    Just doing what I can

    Think I'll jump the tollgate     

    To embrace my fate and

     

    (new idea)

    Direction has to change

    Yesterday's not too soon

    I feel a brand new phase

    I see a brand new moon

    I'm taking aim at a star

    It's not too far... 

     

    (So) Turn another corner

    ___

    Comment


    • rhino55
      rhino55 commented
      Editing a comment

      Lee Knight wrote:

      (Current)

      Direction has to change or

      I'll wind up where I am

      I feel a brand new phase

      Just doing what I can

      Think I'll jump the tollgate     

      To embrace my fate and

       

      (new idea)

      Direction has to change

      Yesterday's not too soon

      I feel a brand new phase

      I see a brand new moon

      I'm taking aim at a star

      It's not too far... 

       

      (So) Turn another corner


      The direction doesn't have to change.  You want it to change... maybe you need it to change.

      I like 'I'll wind up where I am' but I don't think it is quite worded right.  'Where I am' implies you'll be where you currently are, but you've already established you are on a road moving forward, so really you'll wind up wherever the road you're currently on takes you.

       

       


  • #3

    I acutally like the bolded parts of V2.  For me, the confusing line is "I feel a brand new phase".  When I read this:

     

    Direction has to change or

    I'll wind up where I am

    XXXXXXXXXXXX

    Just doing what I can

     

    It all lines up well as a cause (line 1) and effect (lines 2-4).  My direction has to change or I'll forever be stuck in the same place doing the same stuff and just getting by.  But when your line three throws a monkey wrench into that equation by adding a "here I go!" type statement, which seems redundant and out of place.  Redundant because that is conveyed well in the final couplet (altered slightly):

     

    Think I'll jump the tollgate     

    Embrace my new fate (and)

     

    If I were you, I'd look to tweak that 3rd line into something along the consequence vein.  You know how much I hate unnecessary words, but I think you could make the repetition intentional by beginning line three with "just", as in:

     

    Direction has to change or

    I'll wind up where I am

    Just filling the same space

    Just doing what I can

     

    Obviously that isn't strong enough, but I think it gets the idea across.

     

    As for the lines in the final chorus, how about something like "This road is at it's end" as a call back to the opening statement of the song?

    Don't listen to Justin.
    LCK - 2/21/2012

    Comment


    • Lee Knight
      Lee Knight commented
      Editing a comment

      Oswlek wrote:

      I acutally like the bolded parts of V2.  For me, the confusing line is "I feel a brand new phase".  When I read this:

       

      Direction has to change or

      I'll wind up where I am

      XXXXXXXXXXXX

      Just doing what I can

       

      It all lines up well as a cause (line 1) and effect (lines 2-4).  My direction has to change or I'll forever be stuck in the same place doing the same stuff and just getting by.  But when your line three throws a monkey wrench into that equation by adding a "here I go!" type statement, which seems redundant and out of place.  Redundant because that is conveyed well in the final couplet (altered slightly):

       

      Think I'll jump the tollgate     

      Embrace my new fate (and)

       

      If I were you, I'd look to tweak that 3rd line into something along the consequence vein.  You know how much I hate unnecessary words, but I think you could make the repetition intentional by beginning line three with "just", as in:

       

      Direction has to change or

      I'll wind up where I am

      Just filling the same space

      Just doing what I can

       

      Obviously that isn't strong enough, but I think it gets the idea across.

       

      As for the lines in the final chorus, how about something like "This road is at it's end" as a call back to the opening statement of the song?


      That... is a HUGE help. Great call on that 3rd line. The verse felt wrong but I could finger it. I like your catch. I'm on that...

Working...
X