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  • Everybody Wants Some

    Hi... its been a while.



    Here is a little something that I want to test the waters with. Right now, it's bare bones. Lyrically... not developed, but I've been really struggling lately. I just wanted to get something down... anything really to get back in the saddle.



    Let me know if its working for you... then I'll take all the lyrical suggestions you have.



    UPDATED VERSION POST #45



    Hey there, how you doing

    Gonna make it through the day?

    Turn off your television

    It's a nightmare on re-play



    Everybody wants some

    Everybody needs some



    I'm sorry that you're hurting

    Aren't we all in different ways

    Tune out all your static

    Find a station you can play



    Everybody wants some

    Everybody needs some



    Love. It's around this place

  • #2
    Fantastic start. You had me hooked right off the bat.



    Lyrically it's fine except that I think the second part of the second verse is just a re-hash of the first.



    I'm sorry that you're hurting

    Aren't we all in different ways

    Tune in to the [love light] ??

    Try to tune out all the haze ??




    This section:



    Everybody wants some

    Everybody needs some




    is just wonderfully, fabulously hooky.
    “I think you make yourself an antenna for songs, and songs want to be around you. And then they bring other songs along, and then they’re all sittin’ around, and they’re drinking your beer, and they’re sleeping on the floor.” —Tom Waits

    Comment


    • #3
      It's good - In what has become Justin's signature style.

      I'm happy with the lyric as it is - 'Believe it or Not' (said in Ripley's voice)



      I have only one comment, and that is a musical one:

      The chorus has a very nice semi-jerky rhythm which works well. But I think that the verses should't be jerky like you've got them.

      I think they would sound better if you retained the fluidity of the opening instrumentation throughout the verses.
      'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
      CHARLIE PARKER

      Comment


      • #4






        Quote Originally Posted by LCK
        View Post

        Fantastic start. You had me hooked right off the bat.




        Thanks LCK.









        Quote Originally Posted by oldgitplayer
        View Post

        It's good - In what has become Justin's signature style.



        The chorus has a very nice semi-jerky rhythm which works well. But I think that the verses should't be jerky like you've got them.

        I think they would sound better if you retained the fluidity of the opening instrumentation throughout the verses.




        I wonder how you would describe my signature style.



        Regarding the fludity of the instrumentation - you're not digging the guitar picking parts? I was going for dynamic interest there...

        Comment


        • #5






          Quote Originally Posted by bee3
          View Post

          Thanks LCK.





          I wonder how you would describe my signature style.



          Regarding the fludity of the instrumentation - you're not digging the guitar picking parts? I was going for dynamic interest there...




          The guitar picking is great, but I don't think the stop/start playing in the verse serves it well.

          Also I don't think the jerky singing style in the verse works, but it's 100% perfect in the chorus.

          The chorus is a big hook and it needs to be juxtaposed with fluid singing in the verses. Anyway - that's what I'm hearing.
          'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
          CHARLIE PARKER

          Comment


          • #6






            Quote Originally Posted by oldgitplayer
            View Post

            The guitar picking is great, but I don't think the stop/start playing in the verse serves it well.

            Also I don't think the jerky singing style in the verse works, but it's 100% perfect in the chorus.

            The chorus is a big hook and it needs to be juxtaposed with fluid singing in the verses. Anyway - that's what I'm hearing.




            After re-listening to the track, I disagree. I think the rhythm of the opening verse is quite different from the chorus. And part of what "hooked" me was that very rhythm.



            Justin, you can try smoothing it out and see how it feels, but I like it the way it is.



            I really, really like it.



            Oh, yeah, and maybe...



            I'm sorry you've been hurting...



            That feels stronger than "I'm sorry that you're hurting..."
            “I think you make yourself an antenna for songs, and songs want to be around you. And then they bring other songs along, and then they’re all sittin’ around, and they’re drinking your beer, and they’re sleeping on the floor.” —Tom Waits

            Comment


            • #7
              Difference of opinions happening here. Don't you love that?

              Maybe leave the 1st verse as you have it in a stop/start feel as an opener, but when you get to the 2nd verse, become fluid.

              As LCK says - try it and see. The proof of the pudding and all that..........
              'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
              CHARLIE PARKER

              Comment


              • #8






                Quote Originally Posted by LCK
                View Post

                Fantastic start. You had me hooked right off the bat.



                Lyrically it's fine except that I think the second part of the second verse is just a re-hash of the first.



                I'm sorry that you're hurting

                Aren't we all in different ways

                Tune in to the [love light] ??

                Try to tune out all the haze ??




                This section:



                Everybody wants some

                Everybody needs some




                is just wonderfully, fabulously hooky.










                Quote Originally Posted by oldgitplayer
                View Post

                Difference of opinions happening here. Don't you love that?

                Maybe leave the 1st verse as you have it in a stop/start feel as an opener, but when you get to the 2nd verse, become fluid.

                As LCK says - try it and see. The proof of the pudding and all that..........




                I actually did plan for the 3rd time after the bridge to do just that.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Melodically it is great, but the title, and even the phrasing of that line calls a lot of attention to itself as being a nod to the VH tune.



                  I love the bridge(?) at the end. That has the potential to be incredibly powerful the second time around. I hear it being bare bones on the repeat and then building into a crescendo.
                  Don't listen to Justin.
                  LCK - 2/21/2012

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The bridge you're referring to is actually the chorus.

                    Comment


                    • #11






                      Quote Originally Posted by bee3
                      View Post

                      I actually did plan for the 3rd time after the bridge to do just that.




                      So it's all your fault for not providing a fully produced and mastered demo for us to critique..........









                      Quote Originally Posted by Oswlek
                      View Post

                      I hear it being bare bones on the repeat and then building into a crescendo.




                      Justin D has become the master of musical orgasm....
                      'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
                      CHARLIE PARKER

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The performance on this site is still maddening.

                        Comment


                        • #13






                          Quote Originally Posted by bee3
                          View Post

                          I wonder how you would describe my signature style.




                          It's more a case of a signature sound than a signature style.
                          'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
                          CHARLIE PARKER

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            The vocals - crosby stills nash and young have nothing on you. Beautiful.



                            Where it starts with LOve... It's around this place. Sent chills.



                            Verse melody solid.



                            The melody for the 2nd "everybody needs some" each time, specifically on "needs", just something about it. Like I am expecting some kind of contrast with the preceding "needs". Maybe I am spoiled by the rest of the melody.



                            Or maybe its an artistic choice.



                            Not sure. I just want to reach in there and push it up slightly.



                            Love the tune however.
                            www.rickdieffenbach.com.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks Rick. Are you talking about the melody specifically on "Everybody Needs Some" as opposed to Everybody Wants Some"? Or are you referring to the second time that couplet happens in the song?

                              Comment



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