Old Cat Sleeping In The Sun (new wip)

[nat whilk II]

Well, my other work in process has bogged down a bit, so to clear the head I made a quick recording of this one that's been around for a few months.  It's not a spoiler to preface it by saying I tried to cram as many double meanings into it as I could - is it?

 

 

Old Cat Sleeping In The Sun

 

I'm just an old cat sleeping in the sun

ain't gonna bother myself

with nothing or no one

at least until the night has begun.

Old cat sleeping in the sun.

 

I'm just a convict in a caboose

listening to my headphones

sucking on a box of juice

As to the matter of my getting loose,

they'll never think to check the caboose

 

and I'm flying way up high

above the hue and cry

beyond the public eye

goodbye

 

I'm just an old joke everybody knows

and they know when to laugh

cause they know how it goes

ain't exactly poetry or prose

just an old joke everybody knows

 

I'm just an old sock lying on the floor

missing my mate,

hid here behind the bathroom door

tomorrow they'll wash me and stick me in a drawer

An old sock lying on the floor

 

But I'll be flying way up high

above the hue and cry

beyond the public eye

goodbye

 

nat whilk ii

[Oswlek]

You've got a winner here, Nat.  The guitar work is terrific as is the smooth vocal delivery.  Other than praise, I only have one bit of feedback.  I feel like the melody on "hue and cry" was leading into a closedown of the first chorus.  How about skipping over "beyond the public eye" and keeping that back until the second chorus?

[LCK]

Very enjoyable! Nicely done.

[stickboymusic]

Well I am not sure if there is any input to give here really.

 

It's a great song, almost reminiscent of the kinks or somehting of that era.

 

I have to say, listening to the other song you had in progress, I kind of assumed you were maybe just starting out (no offence!!) but this one sounds very accomplished.

 

A great song, the lyrics carry a certain simplicity but feel new at the same time.

 

Love it.

[nat whilk II]

 

---

Oswlek wrote:

 

 

You've got a winner here, Nat.  The guitar work is terrific as is the smooth vocal delivery.  Other than praise, I only have one bit of feedback.  I feel like the melody on "hue and cry" was leading into a closedown of the first chorus.  How about skipping over "beyond the public eye" and keeping that back until the second chorus?

 

 

 

Thanks a ton for the kind words.  Interesting idea, keeping that section back till the last - it does have that sort of "one more time" feeling to it with the chord change but I never noticed that until you commented.  I'll try it both ways a few times and decide.

 

 

 

nat whilk ii

---

 

 

[nat whilk II]

Thanks all for the encouraging comments.

 

As a songwriter, I both do want people to "get" my intended meaning, and I also don't really need people to see my particular intentions if they simply like the thing and find it evocative of something or other for them.

 

For Old Cat, as a songwriter, what I was trying to do was take a charming, lilting wrapper of a tune - almost like a childrens song - and sneak into it an entire, other, deeper, layer of meaning about old age, isolation, lonlieness, and death.  

 

Just curious - did anyone catch any whiff at all of this intended deeper level?

 

 If not, then I might twitch the charming cover off via the lyrics just a tad to make it easier to see that perhaps "something else" lies beneath for the curious.

 

Or not - cause hey, if people like it, it's all good regardless.  

 

nat whilk ii

[Lee Knight]

 

---

nat whilk II wrote:

 

 

Thanks all for the encouraging comments.

 

 

 

As a songwriter, I both do want people to "get" my intended meaning, and I also don't really need people to see my particular intentions if they simply like the thing and find it evocative of something or other for them.

 

 

 

For Old Cat, as a songwriter, what I was

trying

to do was take a charming, lilting wrapper of a tune - almost like a childrens song - and sneak into it an entire, other, deeper, layer of meaning about old age, isolation, lonlieness, and death.  

 

 

 

Just curious - did anyone catch any whiff at all of this intended deeper level?

 

 

 

 If not, then I might twitch the charming cover off via the lyrics just a tad to make it easier to see that perhaps "something else" lies beneath for the curious.

 

 

 

Or not - cause hey, if people like it, it's all good regardless.  

 

 

 

nat whilk ii

---

 

 

For me, the song works on its own level. It implies self acceptance. And acceptance of your given surroundings. Like the old sock. You miss your mate but it is what it is. That's the sort of feel I get from it. The caboose verse, though I love as is, does feel a little out of place and I wondered how that fit in...

 

...but it didn't matter for the way the tune was working for me. It successfully communicates an emotion. That's the biggie n my book. More than any craft, what does it get across emotionally? And your tune here does get a feeling through to me.  

[rsadasiv]

 

---

nat whilk II wrote:

 

 

Thanks all for the encouraging comments.

 

 

 

As a songwriter, I both do want people to "get" my intended meaning, and I also don't really need people to see my particular intentions if they simply like the thing and find it evocative of something or other for them.

 

 

 

For Old Cat, as a songwriter, what I was

trying

to do was take a charming, lilting wrapper of a tune - almost like a childrens song - and sneak into it an entire, other, deeper, layer of meaning about old age, isolation, lonlieness, and death.  

 

 

 

Just curious - did anyone catch any whiff at all of this intended deeper level?

 

 

 

 If not, then I might twitch the charming cover off via the lyrics just a tad to make it easier to see that perhaps "something else" lies beneath for the curious.

 

 

 

Or not - cause hey, if people like it, it's all good regardless.  

 

 

 

nat whilk ii

---

 

 This is a fascinating question about interpretation and audience expecations. I'm going to go get a coffee and try to figure that out.

[rhino55]

 

---

nat whilk II wrote:

 

 

Thanks all for the encouraging comments.

 

 

 

As a songwriter, I both do want people to "get" my intended meaning, and I also don't really need people to see my particular intentions if they simply like the thing and find it evocative of something or other for them.

 

 

 

For Old Cat, as a songwriter, what I was

trying

to do was take a charming, lilting wrapper of a tune - almost like a childrens song - and sneak into it an entire, other, deeper, layer of meaning about old age, isolation, lonlieness, and death.  

 

 

 

Just curious - did anyone catch any whiff at all of this intended deeper level?

 

 

 

 If not, then I might twitch the charming cover off via the lyrics just a tad to make it easier to see that perhaps "something else" lies beneath for the curious.

 

 

 

Or not - cause hey, if people like it, it's all good regardless.  

 

 

 

nat whilk ii

---

 

I got some of that.  My main impression was more in line with what LK said, more of a general acceptance of where I am or who I am.  

The only spot I thought needed some attention is 'hue and cry.'  It could be a melody thing like Os was saying, but also lyrically I didn't really get what you meant by that.  Those words sing well and I think it works as is, but seeing as how it's the chorus that might be a great chance to add some focus to your intended meaning.

All in all the guitar work and vocal delivery complement each other quite nicely. Great job!

[rsadasiv]

 

---

nat whilk II wrote:

 

 

Thanks all for the encouraging comments.

 

 

 

As a songwriter, I both do want people to "get" my intended meaning, and I also don't really need people to see my particular intentions if they simply like the thing and find it evocative of something or other for them.

 

On my first listen, definitely the latter. You've been playing possum a little bit; my expectations were low. I listened, I found something that worked, I was happy and stopped analyzing/looking for something deeper.

 

For Old Cat, as a songwriter, what I was

trying

to do was take a charming, lilting wrapper of a tune - almost like a childrens song - and sneak into it an entire, other, deeper, layer of meaning about old age, isolation, lonlieness, and death.  

 

After a couple of listens I understand what you are getting at. And I appreciate the direction - like my food, I enjoy music that mixes flavors: bitter and sweet is much more interesting than simply sour or saccharine. But for me to realize that I have to be a fan, I have to listen multiple times - even for an attentive casual/one-time listener the deeper meaning is not apparent. Here are some suggestions to make the lyric, if not explicit, at least beg the question a little more strongly.

 

I'm just an old cat sleeping in the sun

ain't gonna bother myself

with nothing or no one

at least until the night has begun.

Old cat sleeping in the sun.

 

I'm just an old sock lying on the floor

missing my mate,

hid here behind the bathroom door

tomorrow they'll wash me and stick me in a drawer

An old sock lying on the floor

 

And I'm on my way up high

Night's come, it's time to fly

My mate and I

Goodbye

 

It's an old joke everybody knows

and they know when to laugh

cause they know how it goes

ain't exactly poetry or prose

just an old joke everybody knows

 

I'm just an old cat sleeping in the sun

ain't gonna bother myself

with nothing or no one

at least until the night has begun.

Old cat sleeping in the sun.

 

But I'll be flying way up high

above the hue and cry

beyond the public eye

goodbye