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"Summer's Waltz" -- new WIP


LCK

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This is a really well crafted lyric.

If I'm being super picky, the only weak point is some of the language in the sounds dated, but even still, I don't think it's a big problem.

catching rays, sweat as a peach, summer blues.

I aslo don't know that I like the repitition of the word 'dog.'

The last verse is perfection.

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rhino55 wrote:

 

 

This is a really well crafted lyric.

 

If I'm being super picky, the only weak point is some of the language in the sounds dated, but even still, I don't think it's a big problem.

 

catching rays, sweat as a peach, summer blues.

 

I aslo don't know that I like the repitition of the word 'dog.'

 

The last verse is perfection.

 

I'm quite sure some of the language sounds dated. I can't get Johnny Mercer out of my head.

Yeah, the "dog" line is undergoing some changes.

Here's the latest version.

Summer

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Lee Knight wrote:

 

Elsie K! Don't you just love the way Siri interprets phrases?

 

 

 

You are the king of the rewrite my friend. Seriously, wow!

 

Just getting started, my friend.

I didn't quite like the "patches of greens and tans," and the window fans. Maybe I'll come back to it.

But for now...

 

When we get diz-zy on sun-drenched days

from toss-ing Frisbees or catch-ing rays,

from canoeing or doing a couple somersaults

we

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