Members oldgitplayer Posted April 20, 2013 Members Share Posted April 20, 2013 This fell out of the ether into my guitar today. I would appreciate any input you may have.A rough demo with the bassline played on the E string of my acoustic git. Timing terrible, but you should get the intended lazy flavour.At the moment it's being played as an AABA structure. The A is confident, but the B is still a bit tentative. However, I need to consider whether to drop that structure and use the A part as a Chorus and write some Verse music to go with it.I haven't considered a lyric yet - I'd like to get the feel of the music first, and what structure might be preferable.http://picosong.com/Fn2T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted April 20, 2013 Members Share Posted April 20, 2013 The B needs tightening up, perhaps even tweaking some of the chords here and there, but the A is definitely build-worthy. You don't need anything else, just a kick ass refrain at the end of each A part (which should also be the title of the song). Funny that we had that "Bus Stop" convo in another thread, because this song made my mind flash back to those times and that style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted April 20, 2013 Members Share Posted April 20, 2013 It's a nice start to something. Immediately engaging.You're a bit more tentative with the B section, but I'm assuming you'll get a handle on that sooner or later. The lead in back to the A section is right on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted April 20, 2013 Moderators Share Posted April 20, 2013 Very cool. I love the construction of the verse. It has plenty of variation but moves with a cool logic. Very nice. The B section suffers specifically from that one note being pounded out. It's a 3rd on your relative major there. Wait, you gave me the key, so it's a G major and the note is a B. B B B B Why not create a little motif there in the melody? B A G B... A G F# A... (G) B D...B E B... Some thing that weaves through that relative major and all its associated chords. The A section is begging for a nice detour to take of the heat a little. So you need to give them more than just a relative major and and 3rd as a melody. I'd think scale shapes here. This reminds me of the Zombies style a little. Very cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted April 22, 2013 Moderators Share Posted April 22, 2013 Nice. I can't help seeing how the puppet idea might be exploited a little more. Puts you in the trunk where all her marionettes go. Same with the undertow verse. She could be dragging him down along with the undertow. Then letting her go might a harsher and maybe more effective image to mind. See ya So overall this feels great especially if you we're to expand and tie together some of the metaphors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted April 22, 2013 Author Members Share Posted April 22, 2013 ^^^Thanks guys - I'll see where I might take those ideas as a focus or theme together with 'Let her go'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted April 28, 2013 Members Share Posted April 28, 2013 No, I didn't play anything on this. Shocking Blue in the left channel, Bananarama in the right channel, and this lounge version that I found in the center. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted April 28, 2013 Members Share Posted April 28, 2013 rsadasiv wrote: No, I didn't play anything on this. Shocking Blue in the left channel, Bananarama in the right channel, and this lounge version that I found in the center. Ah... still, it's genius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted May 1, 2013 Moderators Share Posted May 1, 2013 Oops. I was way off the mark. Apologies and carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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