Edit #2 - even more:
Edit: some stuff ammended per my own intentions and the suggestions here:
This one veered in a new direction for me. Working?
It isn't close to mastered, but it is much further along, and tracked for the most part. Vox/bass is still pending a retake and I'm debating whether to add some synth here and there.
The interlude is still a little sloppy. The lead bit is too loud (and really just a demo of the idea - it'll be redone to start less busy) and the intially part doesn't work as well when not separated with headphones. Any ideas to get some clarity there? Or am I wrong and it sounds fine?
All suggestions are welcome!