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All Fall Down - WIP with demo


Oswlek

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EDIT: 

Demo - http://picosong.com/Fbp4

Updated Lyric:

 

V1

There's no mystery

Why we sometimes land on the ground

As long as we're here

We'll spin

 

Like kids playing Rosey

All fall down

 

V2

Hands blistering

You can pull yourself off the ground

As long as we're here

We'll spin

 

Like kids playing Rosey

All fall down

 

Coda

After all, we spin together

Like kids playing Rosey we all fall down

-----------------------------------------------------------

GOS = "Germ of Something".  I figured it was time to make Ram's phrase a formal part of our vernacular.  Or not.  :)

 

This one arrived yesterday on my brother's guitar.  It is one of my usual leans-harder-on-the-melody-than-the-lyric-to-tell-the-story song.  I intended on recording a demo, but the camera was on "E", so I figured we can start with just the lyric.  As barren as it may be.

The phrase "All fall down" was the first to appear, which made me think of Marshall's tune by the same name and how he poignantly uses nursery rhymes.  I'm trying to do something similar here.

As with most of my tunes, it arrived with a melancholy slant, but I decided to try turning it on its head and make it more positive, if not necessarily upbeat.  The ultimate point I'm trying to get across is "sometimes we all get knocked on our ass, but we can still get up." 

 

V1

There's no mystery

Why we sometimes land on the ground

As long as we're here

We'll spin

 

Like kids playing Rosey (lifts like a PC)

All fall down - (refrain)

 

V2

Hands blistering - intentionally calling back to "mystery"

You can pull yourself off the ground

As long as we're here

We'll spin

 

Like kids playing Rosey

All fall down

 

Coda - new chord comes in to offer a more positive feel

After all, we pray for silence

Like kids playing Rosey we all fall down

 

OK, the red line is just a placeholder.  I'm not attached to any of it, though "after all" has a nice ring to it.  I know the latter part means nothing and isn't strong enough.  Melodically, that final coda just keeps going.  The first line appears for two measures and then the second comes acting as a response to the "after all" line's call. 

So, anything worthwhile?  Any ideas for what isn't?  Thanks!  :)

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Personally, I think it's just about perfect with the exception of he line in red you want to work on.

 

So what comes to my mind is the idea of a circle. The river of life is a circle, to use a Da Vinci's Demons lift (am I the only one that love's this show?). So, like "ring around the rosey", falling down is just part of getting up is just part of falling down is just part of getting up is just part of...

 

Just throwwing something out there for ideas:

 

After all, to swim is not to drown

And kids playing Rosey... all fall down

Before and after and spinning around

We all fall down

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