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  • All Fall Down - WIP with demo

    EDIT: 

    Demo - http://picosong.com/Fbp4

    Updated Lyric:

     

    V1

    There's no mystery

    Why we sometimes land on the ground

    As long as we're here

    We'll spin

     

    Like kids playing Rosey

    All fall down

     

    V2

    Hands blistering

    You can pull yourself off the ground

    As long as we're here

    We'll spin

     

    Like kids playing Rosey

    All fall down

     

    Coda

    After all, we spin together

    Like kids playing Rosey we all fall down

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    GOS = "Germ of Something".  I figured it was time to make Ram's phrase a formal part of our vernacular.  Or not. 


    This one arrived yesterday on my brother's guitar.  It is one of my usual leans-harder-on-the-melody-than-the-lyric-to-tell-the-story song.  I intended on recording a demo, but the camera was on "E", so I figured we can start with just the lyric.  As barren as it may be.

    The phrase "All fall down" was the first to appear, which made me think of Marshall's tune by the same name and how he poignantly uses nursery rhymes.  I'm trying to do something similar here.

    As with most of my tunes, it arrived with a melancholy slant, but I decided to try turning it on its head and make it more positive, if not necessarily upbeat.  The ultimate point I'm trying to get across is "sometimes we all get knocked on our ass, but we can still get up." 

     

    V1

    There's no mystery

    Why we sometimes land on the ground

    As long as we're here

    We'll spin

     

    Like kids playing Rosey (lifts like a PC)

    All fall down - (refrain)

     

    V2

    Hands blistering - intentionally calling back to "mystery"

    You can pull yourself off the ground

    As long as we're here

    We'll spin

     

    Like kids playing Rosey

    All fall down

     

    Coda - new chord comes in to offer a more positive feel

    After all, we pray for silence

    Like kids playing Rosey we all fall down

     

    OK, the red line is just a placeholder.  I'm not attached to any of it, though "after all" has a nice ring to it.  I know the latter part means nothing and isn't strong enough.  Melodically, that final coda just keeps going.  The first line appears for two measures and then the second comes acting as a response to the "after all" line's call. 

    So, anything worthwhile?  Any ideas for what isn't?  Thanks! 

    Don't listen to Justin.
    LCK - 2/21/2012

  • #2

    Personally, I think it's just about perfect with the exception of he line in red you want to work on.


     


    So what comes to my mind is the idea of a circle. The river of life is a circle, to use a Da Vinci's Demons lift (am I the only one that love's this show?). So, like "ring around the rosey", falling down is just part of getting up is just part of falling down is just part of getting up is just part of...


     


    Just throwwing something out there for ideas:


     


    After all, to swim is not to drown


    And kids playing Rosey... all fall down


    Before and after and spinning around


    We all fall down

    ___

    Comment


    • rsadasiv
      rsadasiv commented
      Editing a comment

      Not sure if the history is apocryphal, but I always associate Ring Around The Rosie with bubonic plague.


  • #3
    Can't rewrite history
    ___

    Comment


    • Oswlek
      Oswlek commented
      Editing a comment

      Lee Knight wrote:
      Can't rewrite history

      Que?


  • #4
    But you can pull your self off the ground
    ___

    Comment


    • Oswlek
      Oswlek commented
      Editing a comment

      Lee Knight wrote:
      But you can pull your self off the ground

      Ahhh.... Now I get it. 

      I like that.

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