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  • "Time, the Healer"

    I wrote this one and recorded it last week.  It's called "Time, the Healer" ... would appreciate constructive feedback ... thanks.  

    "Time, the Healer" an original song by JudsonH1949 ... (words and music copyright 2013)

    When he finally settled down back in his old hometown With the weight of all the past inside his head He woke up that first day with his spirit in decay Over something he recalled that she had said

    She said comin' back home won't be easy for you boy Once you think you've left it all behind Learnin' how to see will be harder than it seems Once you have discovered you've been blind

    When he left her standin' there he could see it all so clear A year away would do 'em both some good She couldn't understand when he let go of her hand And probably she never really would

    If you go and leave, are you ever comin' back? Will I ever see you anymore? He slowly walked away and she saw him disappear Then she turned and very gently closed the door

    Time is a healer or so somebody said Time makes the heart grow fonder yet Time spent running from the things that matter most of all Is something we're not likely to forget

    Filled with deep remorse when the day had run its course He traced his footsteps from a year before He said a silent prayer as he lingered on the stair Then reached to gently tap upon her door

    He thought, comin' back home sure ain't easy is it boy? Once you thought you'd left it all behind Learnin' how to see can be harder than it seems Once you have discovered you've been blind

    Frozen into place as she gazed into the face Of the one who walked away a year ago The gift that she'd been blessed she held closely to her breast Mirror image of the man she still loved so

    She said, welcome back home we've been waitin' for you boy We prayed you wouldn't leave it all behind Open up your eyes, it's not so hard to do Once you understand that you've been blind

    Time is a healer or so somebody said Time makes the heart grow fonder yet. Comin' back home to all the things that matter most of all Is something we're not regret


  • #2

    Very nice song and well played and delivered.

    I loved this line and wish I had written it myself: He woke up that first day with his spirit in decay


    My main suggestion is that it felt a tad long before getting to the chorus each time. If it were possible to reduce the length of each section, it would reduce the song from 4.30 to about 3.30.

    Also - could you possibly leave out the word, 'boy'. I think the line, She said comin' back home won't be easy for you would sing better without 'boy'.


     

    'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
    CHARLIE PARKER

    Comment


    • Judson H
      Judson H commented
      Editing a comment

      Thanks .. this is exactly the type of input I was hoping to get.


  • #3

    Very nice, evocative performance with some strong lines.

    For me, the change in melody on the even number verse lines (as you have them typed here) isn't working.  Just to be clear, this is the first of those even lines:

    She said comin' back home won't be easy for you boy Once you think you've left it all behind Learnin' how to see will be harder than it seems Once you have discovered you've been blind

    The opening part is on solid ground and you can clearly feel it.  This one^, however, gives me the impression that you aren't sure of it.  Initially, I thought it was just surprise at the melodic change, but my ambivalence never swayed even on subsequent listens.

    If you are absolutely locked into that twist, I'd encourage you to find a way to come back to your stronger opening melody on the latter half

    Learnin' how to see will be harder than it seems Once you have discovered you've been blind

     

    Give us the twist and some brief mild discomfort, but then come back home to where you start creating a sense of resolve.

    Or not.    That is just what I would do if this were my song.

    Don't listen to Justin.
    LCK - 2/21/2012

    Comment


    • #4

      Lovely song, lovely performance.

      This line in particular reached out and grabbed me:

      "Learnin' how to see can be harder than it seems Once you have discovered you've been blind"

       

      There were two lines that I thought could be made a little more concise.

      1.

      with his spirit in decay Over something he recalled that she had said

      suggest: with his spirit in decay Over something she had said

       

      2. understand when he let go of her hand And probably she never really would

      suggest:  understand when he let go of her hand she probably never would

       

      ... just a thought.

       

      Oh... yea.. I *like" the "boy"

       

       

      "Now and then... occasionally... it seems to have.... too many notes"

      Comment


      • Oswlek
        Oswlek commented
        Editing a comment

        rickidoo wrote:

        Lovely song, lovely performance.

        This line in particular reached out and grabbed me:

        "Learnin' how to see can be harder than it seems Once you have discovered you've been blind"

         

        There were two lines that I thought could be made a little more concise.

        1.

        with his spirit in decay Over something he recalled that she had said

        suggest: with his spirit in decay Over something she had said

         

        2. understand when he let go of her hand And probably she never really would

        suggest:  understand when he let go of her hand she probably never would

         

        ... just a thought.

         

        Oh... yea.. I *like" the "boy"

         

         


        In that vein, "inside his head" would probably sound smoother as simply "in his head".  Might want to scan through and filter out unnecessary stuff like that.


    • #5

      Thanks to all for the constructive criticism.  Not being a professional songwriter (this was only my 6th song) I do appreciate the suggestions and I'm trying to make sure I totally understand wht is being suggested and trying to incorporate some of the ideas into my thinking ...

      Comment


      • stickboymusic
        stickboymusic commented
        Editing a comment

        I think this is GREAT

         

        Classic song writing/ story telling

         

        I think it would move the song along if you halfed the length of all them guitar bits in between lines

         

        When he finally settled down back in his old hometown With the weight of all the past inside his head

         

        HALF THE GAP HERE THEN INTO.....

         

        He woke up that first day with his spirit in decay Over something he recalled that she had said

         

        It may work to do this to the whole song, possibly leaving the slightly longer bit just before the chorus

         

        He woke up that first day with his spirit in decay Over something he recalled that she had said

         

         

         



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