My first electronic rock experience

[Jugulator]

Hi, everybody. Please rate and critique. Thanks

 

[LCK]

It's not my cup of tea, but it's very well done.

[Jugulator]

Thank you.

[blue2blue]

OK... I can't weigh in on stylistic fine points or where this will stand on the hipness spectrum for your chosen genre. It reminds me a bit of the 90s electronic rock/pop scene (NIN, etc) but, of course, has considerable stylistic divergence from that. Particularly notable to me was the generous use of reverb, which I didn't feel was problematic at all but is different from other examples I've heard from this genre in recent years. (That could be a good thing, of course. People suck up one style like it'll never go out and then, one day, wake up, hear something that has the elements they like but a different approach and a new benchmark is set. Hemlines go up; hemlines go down.)

Among the song's more 'timeless' strengths are what I take to be a good feel for bringing pop form to the genre: there's good flow, tension build and release, a nice balancing of elements as you move through the song. (And, while I may not be representative [and see the hemlines comment], I appreciated the compact brevity. I like a song that gets in, does its work, and gets out.)

Now, I don't comment on lyrics unless they're posted somewhere and this would be no exception; I think I made out one line ("I'm feeling all right" or maybe "okay"). So, you know,  that's between you and your inner poet for now.

So, bottom line, I can't really weigh how it will fit into the current sub-scene, but the level of craft is generally high, there are a lot of ideas; while I'm not all that familiar with current offerings, it strikes me as setting itself apart from other works in the genre I am familar with. That could be good or bad, commercially. The marketplace is a funny thing. But I think it shows a lot of good work and craft, and, if maybe this doesn't hit the mark with your intended audience, one of your next few efforts might. 

 

[nat whilk II]

I think your vocals could use a bit more treatment - more varied treatments in different sections of the tune.

 

The intro leading up to your vocal is great.  Some of the sections after that lose a bit of the drive. 

 

For example,  the synthy section after "out of control" doesn't sound very "out of control".  That section is a bit of a drop down in intensity.  Maybe some more off-kilter synth or samples sounds swirling around crazy-like could lift that section up.  Otherwise, you might lose some folk's attention in that part.

 

I'm a closet fan of industrial rock....if I were going to produce that kind of material, I'd take a lot of hints from these guys:

 

nice work - keep at it.  

nat whilk ii

 

 

[Jugulator]

 

Thank you for the discussion. You helped me a lot.

 

I forgot to post the lyrics separately. Well, here it is - 

 

Slipping away

So pleased to obey

The demons inside lead me down

From Heaven to Hell

 

Driven insane

I'm feeling no pain

The viper controls my way down

From Heaven to Hell

 

Chorus

 

Controlled insanity

It's my reality

The master takes my soul

My mind gets out of control

 

Crossing the line

No sweat down my spine

I'm feeling no guilt moving down

From Heaven to Hell

 

Shadows below

No fear, no awe

Azazel will come to attend

Me sinking to Hell

 

Peeling my skin

But still with a grin

They're trying to plunder my strength

And break me in Hell

 

Coven goes on

And witches get on

They dance desecrating my soul

And push me through Hell

 

Slicing my brain

They lick my remains

The ghost in my veins screaming out

Just leave me in Hell

 

Psycho inside

They've taken my mind

And ground my shell in the dust

Forever in Hell