Members Jugulator Posted July 1, 2013 Members Share Posted July 1, 2013 Hi, everybody. Please rate and critique. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted July 1, 2013 Members Share Posted July 1, 2013 It's not my cup of tea, but it's very well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jugulator Posted July 4, 2013 Author Members Share Posted July 4, 2013 Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted July 4, 2013 Members Share Posted July 4, 2013 OK... I can't weigh in on stylistic fine points or where this will stand on the hipness spectrum for your chosen genre. It reminds me a bit of the 90s electronic rock/pop scene (NIN, etc) but, of course, has considerable stylistic divergence from that. Particularly notable to me was the generous use of reverb, which I didn't feel was problematic at all but is different from other examples I've heard from this genre in recent years. (That could be a good thing, of course. People suck up one style like it'll never go out and then, one day, wake up, hear something that has the elements they like but a different approach and a new benchmark is set. Hemlines go up; hemlines go down.) Among the song's more 'timeless' strengths are what I take to be a good feel for bringing pop form to the genre: there's good flow, tension build and release, a nice balancing of elements as you move through the song. (And, while I may not be representative [and see the hemlines comment], I appreciated the compact brevity. I like a song that gets in, does its work, and gets out.) Now, I don't comment on lyrics unless they're posted somewhere and this would be no exception; I think I made out one line ("I'm feeling all right" or maybe "okay"). So, you know, that's between you and your inner poet for now. So, bottom line, I can't really weigh how it will fit into the current sub-scene, but the level of craft is generally high, there are a lot of ideas; while I'm not all that familiar with current offerings, it strikes me as setting itself apart from other works in the genre I am familar with. That could be good or bad, commercially. The marketplace is a funny thing. But I think it shows a lot of good work and craft, and, if maybe this doesn't hit the mark with your intended audience, one of your next few efforts might. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nat whilk II Posted July 4, 2013 Members Share Posted July 4, 2013 I think your vocals could use a bit more treatment - more varied treatments in different sections of the tune. The intro leading up to your vocal is great. Some of the sections after that lose a bit of the drive. For example, the synthy section after "out of control" doesn't sound very "out of control". That section is a bit of a drop down in intensity. Maybe some more off-kilter synth or samples sounds swirling around crazy-like could lift that section up. Otherwise, you might lose some folk's attention in that part. I'm a closet fan of industrial rock....if I were going to produce that kind of material, I'd take a lot of hints from these guys: nice work - keep at it. nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jugulator Posted July 6, 2013 Author Members Share Posted July 6, 2013 Thank you for the discussion. You helped me a lot. I forgot to post the lyrics separately. Well, here it is - Slipping awaySo pleased to obeyThe demons inside lead me downFrom Heaven to Hell Driven insaneI'm feeling no painThe viper controls my way downFrom Heaven to Hell Chorus Controlled insanityIt's my realityThe master takes my soulMy mind gets out of control Crossing the lineNo sweat down my spineI'm feeling no guilt moving downFrom Heaven to Hell Shadows belowNo fear, no aweAzazel will come to attendMe sinking to Hell Peeling my skinBut still with a grinThey're trying to plunder my strengthAnd break me in Hell Coven goes onAnd witches get onThey dance desecrating my soulAnd push me through Hell Slicing my brainThey lick my remainsThe ghost in my veins screaming outJust leave me in Hell Psycho insideThey've taken my mindAnd ground my shell in the dustForever in Hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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