Members grace_slick Posted June 27, 2013 Members Share Posted June 27, 2013 Wowy, it has been WAY TOO LONG since I was last here!!!!! You all have full permission to beat me with your various instruments for being away so long, ok?In the meantime though, is a new song...any suggestions would be welcomed.http://picosong.com/FigJ/ The Walls Have EarsI saw your face in the mirrorWhat did I see?Who am I at this moment?Who could I be I walked away for a minuteWhat did you do?Why can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkey Uncle Posted June 27, 2013 Members Share Posted June 27, 2013 Hi Grace,This one started out really good for me. I love those first two verses. Perfect harmonic and melodic build, and killer lines to boot. And that super-low register suits your voice to a T.However, things sort of went awry for me after that. I felt like the chorus is too similar to the verses. Although you kicked the vocals up into a higher register, otherwise the chorus was basically the same as the verses. I was craving some harmonic variation there. At that point the song felt like it dragged on and on, and I lost interest.And this may just be my personal preference, but the story line development from the third verse on was just a little too weird for me.But again, I think you had a really fantastic start on this one. I think it could be really great if you re-worked it to address the chorus samey-ness and the starkness of the story line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted June 27, 2013 Members Share Posted June 27, 2013 grace_slick wrote: Wowy, it has been WAY TOO LONG since I was last here!!!!! You all have full permission to beat me with your various instruments for being away so long, ok?In the meantime though, is a new song...any suggestions would be welcomed.http://picosong.com/FigJ/The Walls Have EarsI saw your face in the mirrorWhat did I see?Who am I at this moment?Who could I be I walked away for a minuteWhat did you do?Why can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted June 27, 2013 Members Share Posted June 27, 2013 Great tune, the layout is damn near perfect. Love the low vocals. Some ideas to consider for a more dynamice flow: 1) Add a hint of tinkly piano at 0:40 that fills that space and carries lightly through the interlude.2) I love the high harmonies and really wanted them to come in sooner, starting at 0:58 with an off-in-the-background type high harmony, the kind Roger Waters uses on "Southampton Dock" off of The Final Cut.3) Have the same kind of high harmony on the chorus the first time as you do the second.4) Mute the acoustic strumming from 2:40-2:54. If you don't change a single other thing, do this. I know it will kick ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted June 28, 2013 Author Members Share Posted June 28, 2013 Oh wow, EXCELLENT suggestions, Oswlek!!! Thank you SO much! I will do ALL those things, as I can definitely hear that they'd really improve this song.Thanks LCK also, SO MUCH, for your lovely kind comments!!! I am SO glad people like this one. I am always scared when I post songs that nobody will like them. lolMonkey, thanks also, my friend! I can see what you mean...quite a fair few of my songs do tend to just...go on and on and on. lol. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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