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The Walls Have Ears

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  • The Walls Have Ears

    Wowy, it has been WAY TOO LONG since I was last here!!!!! You all have full permission to beat me with your various instruments for being away so long, ok?

    In the meantime though, is a new song...any suggestions would be welcomed.

    http://picosong.com/FigJ/

     

    The Walls Have Ears

    I saw your face in the mirror

    What did I see?

    Who am I at this moment?

    Who could I be

     

    I walked away for a minute

    What did you do?

    Why can

    All things must pass...

  • #2

    Hi Grace,

    This one started out really good for me.  I love those first two verses.  Perfect harmonic and melodic build, and killer lines to boot.  And that super-low register suits your voice to a T.

    However, things sort of went awry for me after that.  I felt like the chorus is too similar to the verses.  Although you kicked the vocals up into a higher register, otherwise the chorus was basically the same as the verses.  I was craving some harmonic variation there.  At that point the song felt like it dragged on and on, and I lost interest.

    And this may just be my personal preference, but the story line development from the third verse on was just a little too weird for me.

    But again, I think you had a really fantastic start on this one.  I think it could be really great if you re-worked it to address the chorus samey-ness and the starkness of the story line. 

    Beware of deepities.-- Daniel Dennett

    Comment


    • #3

      grace_slick wrote:

      Wowy, it has been WAY TOO LONG since I was last here!!!!! You all have full permission to beat me with your various instruments for being away so long, ok?

      In the meantime though, is a new song...any suggestions would be welcomed.

      http://picosong.com/FigJ/

      The Walls Have Ears
      I saw your face in the mirror
      What did I see?
      Who am I at this moment?
      Who could I be
       
      I walked away for a minute
      What did you do?
      Why can
      “Good Vibrations” was probably a good record but who's to know? You had to play it about 90 bloody times to even hear what they were singing about. What’s next? Rock opera? —Pete Townshend, Melody Maker Interview, 1966.

      Comment


      • #4

        Great tune, the layout is damn near perfect.  Love the low vocals.  Some ideas to consider for a more dynamice flow:

         

        1)  Add a hint of tinkly piano at 0:40 that fills that space and carries lightly through the interlude.

        2)  I love the high harmonies and really wanted them to come in sooner, starting at 0:58 with an off-in-the-background type high harmony, the kind Roger Waters uses on "Southampton Dock" off of The Final Cut.

        3)  Have the same kind of high harmony on the chorus the first time as you do the second.

        4)  Mute the acoustic strumming from 2:40-2:54.  If you don't change a single other thing, do this.  I know it will kick ass.

        Don't listen to Justin.
        LCK - 2/21/2012

        Comment


        • grace_slick
          grace_slick commented
          Editing a comment

          Oh wow, EXCELLENT suggestions, Oswlek!!! Thank you SO much! I will do ALL those things, as I can definitely hear that they'd really improve this song.

          Thanks LCK also, SO MUCH, for your lovely kind comments!!! I am SO glad people like this one. I am always scared when I post songs that nobody will like them. lol

          Monkey, thanks also, my friend! I can see what you mean...quite a fair few of my songs do tend to just...go on and on and on. lol. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't.



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