Members rickidoo Posted July 4, 2013 Members Share Posted July 4, 2013 OK, ok... lyrics... I know... I know... help help... sinking sinking.. :-)But having fun.Like? Dislike? Thoughts? Any thoughts - always appreciated. Also - there is no bridge - not sure what I would say - does it need it? Play song Gonna Take the Trash Out© Rick Dieffenbach[/b] Verse 1:Gonna take the trash outIt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted July 4, 2013 Members Share Posted July 4, 2013 rickidoo wrote: OK, ok... lyrics... I know... I know... help help... sinking sinking.. :-)But having fun.Like? Dislike? Thoughts? Any thoughts - always appreciated. Also - there is no bridge - not sure what I would say - does it need it? Play song Gonna Take the Trash Out© Rick Dieffenbach[/b] Verse 1:Gonna take the trash outIt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted July 4, 2013 Members Share Posted July 4, 2013 Hi Rick Another cool tune couple of things Verse 1:Gonna take the trash outIt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted July 4, 2013 Author Members Share Posted July 4, 2013 Thank you LCK and Stick. The changes, and the realignment to bring out the political point up front, are brilliant and will be adopted. Thank you. Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted July 6, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 6, 2013 A man after my own heart with this line Toss out the left / can the right Trash them all. I like this idea a lot. Lee's thought that the rhythm could use a tightening up I agree with, though it's 90% there. I love your verse and chorus melodic rhythms. Lots of fun. Personally I think a bridge would be perfect for this song. A nice contrasting legato 1/4 mote melody maybe? You could mention a man who comes in a truck every Thursday morning. And he takes your mess away to a big heap where everybody else's mess is too. And all that trash can stink away polluting each others air and rot to its heart's content but far enough from town to not really be something to worry about. But it is concerning how much more of it there is each week. Anyway,what a clever idea and nice execution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted July 8, 2013 Members Share Posted July 8, 2013 +1,000 to LCK's suggestions. This is a good one, Rick, just need to tidy the lyric up a little and work on the delivery a little. Do you move and swing around while singing? This beat feels like one you have to be grooving to to really nail the vocals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted July 13, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 13, 2013 Man that's cool. It reminds me of Andy Patridge getting angry. And the chords... I love the places you go with those chords. I think the middle section is awesome though it could benefit from a crazy climax or somethingif its going to go that long. I love that goes that long though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted July 13, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 13, 2013 You do that cool half step toggle at the end of the revolution section "to-ni-EE-i-EE-i-EEt". I want more. I hear it again in the string part at the end of the middle section and then again on your second and final revolution section at the end of the song. I wonder if using that half step toggle as background vocals as a crazy climax for the middle section i-EE-i-EE building building and... Shwwoooop! To your next verse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted July 13, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 13, 2013 Oh, and you might consider putting a full drumbeat in the bridge repeat. i love how the bridge breaks down to just that kick, it's awesome. But it feels the second time around I want to come or start something on the toms. Keeping the arrangement just as you have it but the drummer starts getting tribal on you, similar to the verses. That might facilitate the crazy climax build I was referring to. Or not of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted July 13, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 13, 2013 Sorry for the silly Siri nonsense above. I hope that makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted July 13, 2013 Author Members Share Posted July 13, 2013 Building crazy bridge reporting for duty, sir! I still have more changes, and thank you Lee especially you are handing me gold nuggets today. Great idea Owsek on the extention. Stick I will be rerecording the chorus. The bridge is slightly elogated to allow for teh build up. Bridge starts at 1:12, changes begin at 2:18.Thank you all! Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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