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Stained Glass Window - final (?)

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  • #16
    OK, well that answers my question.

    Just remember, Lee is probably still heavily medicated. oke:

    The intro flutes will return... (but I'm gonna re-record them).

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    • #17
      Just remember, Lee is probably still heavily medicated. oke:

      The intro flutes will return... (but I'm gonna re-record them).


      Oww!!!!! You made me lol for real!!!! That's funny. And unfortunately no meds. "We need you aware of your pain so you don't open up your incision". Oh... ok...
      __________
      Your god doesn't exist but my god does and he is all loving. If you disagree with me I'll kill you. - Prince Ea

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      • #18
        Where did those opening flute parts go?

        I also recall there being a flute part between the couplets in the second verse as well, and think it should return.

        You did some of what I asked in the interlude, but hearing it I think I was wrong. It was better before.

        Personally, I think if you take these vocals (turned up, they are too quiet) and slap in into the previous music mix, you'd have a winner.

        Anyone else think the vox are too low? I think they're fine?

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        • #19
          First post updated with new link (intro flutes back in).

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          • #20
            So much better. Are some of the other flute parts coming back a well?

            I do think the vocals a little low, and I have to admit to not being a fan of the melodic drop on "ous" in "blasphemous". I think it would sound so much better if you just held the same note through that part.
            Don't listen to Justin.
            LCK - 2/21/2012

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            • #21
              There are no other flute parts... Take a listen back to the original... let me know if I'm missing something???

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              • #22
                There are no other flute parts... Take a listen back to the original... let me know if I'm missing something???


                Wasn't there some flute in the open space of the second verse? If not, it could sure use some.

                Just listened. I guess I was wrong. Not the first time, probably won't be the last.
                Don't listen to Justin.
                LCK - 2/21/2012

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                • #23
                  This is great. Sounds of Silence for the modern day.
                  Lyrics Songs Demos Videos Covers Dj Facebook Tumblr

                  Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.

                  -Coco Chanel

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                  • #24
                    Regarding all of the discussion of this line:

                    The lies they told the congregation
                    A hundred years unheard


                    Since the "hundred years" is not the critical part of the line, maybe something like:

                    The lies they told the congregation
                    The painful truth unheard


                    or

                    The lies they told the congregation
                    The truth so long unheard


                    Edit: or maybe "shameful truth unheard."

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                    • #25
                      A communion of lies
                      with the painful truth unheard
                      ...

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                      • #26
                        This is a fantastic song.


                        Sounds of Silence for the modern day.


                        +1.

                        The flutes are fantabulous. And the vocal harmonies that come in on verse 2 are just the right touch at the right time.

                        Gotta agree with this, though:

                        As for the chorus, it's great except as noted:

                        And I'd rather be -- ee blasphemous (I noted this stretched out "e" sound before)
                        Than to be impervious

                        As for that last line, it should either read "than be impervious," NOT "than to be impervious." That syntactical structure would only work if the previous line were "I'd rather to be blasphemous than to be impervious..." So the proper structure would be:

                        It's better to be blasphemous
                        than to be impervious

                        Of course that's a generalized statement, it doesn't have the personal stamp of "I'd rather be..."

                        I think the best way to phrase this, structurally speaking, is: "I'd rather be blasphemous than impervious." That doesn't solve the problem of the stretched out "e" on "be," and it leaves you with empty space, musically on the impervious line. This...

                        I'd rather be half-blasphemous
                        than totally impervious

                        ...might work much better.


                        But instead of inserting "half" in front of blasphemous, I'd just delay starting that line a little to eliminate the stretched-out "be." So, instead of hitting the first syllable of "rather" on the downbeat, let that downbeat go by and hit the "I'd" half a beat after the downbeat.

                        I was also thinking that the pauses after the second and fourth lines of each verse could use a little instrumental fill. The flute would sound great there, although I guess you don't want to over-use it.

                        Again, this is excellent work - the best I've heard from you in my time on this board.
                        Beware of deepities.-- Daniel Dennett

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                        • #27
                          Thanks Monkey... and everyone else. You know, the stretching of the syllables and the misuse of syntax really doesn't bother me. I'm pretty happy with the vocal takes on this one and am really hesitant to go back in there and mess it up.

                          A big thank you to everyone for your comments. I'm quite happy with how this turned out... especially because it was a spur of the moment thing with little planning. I just sat down and banged it out. I wish they all happened that way!

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                          • #28
                            It doesn't bother me at all either. But, I'm telling you, removing the melodic dip at the end of "....ous" would sound so much better.
                            Don't listen to Justin.
                            LCK - 2/21/2012

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                            • #29
                              Maybe so, but it won't be changed any time soon.

                              The song can be downloaded from the link for anyone who is interested.

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                              • #30
                                Maybe so, but it won't be changed any time soon.

                                The song can be downloaded from the link for anyone who is interested.


                                That's awesome ^^^. I think the only way for a system like we have here to work, with open input, etc... is the writer to know when they're done.

                                Ever trimmed a shrub and kept evening it out and evening it out and... then... where did the shrub go?
                                __________
                                Your god doesn't exist but my god does and he is all loving. If you disagree with me I'll kill you. - Prince Ea

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