Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 14, 2013 Moderators Share Posted March 14, 2013 Up tempo country swing a la 80's Rodney Crowell. I got the music in my head. Pretty fun I think. Let's see... Just Me and the Bottle Tonight V1Holdin' you tight, swayin' to the rhythm of the bandThis moment, I swear you're my only friendGonna dance with you all evening, till I can barely standIt's gonna take some time for this heart to mend C1So will you be my partner as I glide across the floor?Will you be there waiting... when I come back for more?How I wish it was her I was holdin' tightBut, Bottle, it's just me and you tonightIt's just me and the bottle tonight V2You look fetching in the shadows of the neon lightYou're every broken heart's dream come trueYou wash away my misery, make everything alrightCome tomorrow morning, I'll have a different point of view C2But for tonight... Will you be my partner as I glide across the floor?Will you be there waiting... when I come back for more?How I wish it was her I was holdin' tightBut, Bottle, it's just me and you tonightIt's just me and the bottle tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted March 14, 2013 Members Share Posted March 14, 2013 Holdin' you tight, swayin' to the rhythm of the bandThis moment, I swear you're my only friend (not sure how I feel about friend. It seems like dancing all night should be something you do with a romantic interest)Gonna dance with you all night, till I can barely stand It's gonna take some time for this heart to mend You look fetching in the shadows of the neon lightYou're every broken hearts ed man's dream come trueYou wash away my misery, make everything alrightCome tomorrow morning, I'll have a different point of view Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted March 14, 2013 Members Share Posted March 14, 2013 I like it a lot. I'm sure once it's set to music this will disappear, but it did immediately bring this tune to mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nat whilk II Posted March 14, 2013 Members Share Posted March 14, 2013 for that 2nd line You're my friend, my lover, my good right hand nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 14, 2013 Author Moderators Share Posted March 14, 2013 Ooo, good cross out there. OK... I was hoping to conjure up the picture of a drunk cowboy, holding a long neck Bud, and spinning around the dance floor alone. Not working? I was actually picturing an old friend, the front man Country Dick Montana from Beat Farmers (Dan McClain) RIP. He always had this stage persona of a heartbroken rowdy drunk cowboy. That's what I going for. I guess the question is, how do I get there? I want it to be an "Aha!' song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted March 14, 2013 Members Share Posted March 14, 2013 Lee Knight wrote: Up tempo country swing a la 80's Rodney Crowell. I got the music in my head. Pretty fun I think. Let's see... I really like the general idea. I'm just having trouble with one bit of imagery: a guy dancing with a life-size bottle.Maybe I sure wish it was her hand I was holding so tightBut if it's just a cold bottle of beer, then all right.It's me and the bottle tonight. ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 14, 2013 Author Moderators Share Posted March 14, 2013 Oswlek wrote: I like it a lot. I'm sure once it's set to music this will disappear, but it did immediately bring this tune to mind. I've never heard that song. But... this is nothing new, I know. That's the idea, it is a wink-wink to honky tonk drinking songs. But I need to get the image of Dan up there in this song, spinning aroud the dance floor with a bottle of Bud. The Bon Jovi are the guilty one's there if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 14, 2013 Author Moderators Share Posted March 14, 2013 LCK wrote: Lee Knight wrote: Up tempo country swing a la 80's Rodney Crowell. I got the music in my head. Pretty fun I think. Let's see... Just Me and the Bottle Tonight V1 Holdin' you tight, swayin' to the rhythm of the band This moment, I swear you're my only friend Gonna dance with you all evening, till I can barely stand It's gonna take some time for this heart to mend C1 So will you be my partner as I glide across the floor? Will you be there waiting... when I come back for more? How I wish it was her I was holdin' tight But, Bottle, it's just me and you tonight It's just me and the bottle tonight V2 You look fetching in the shadows of the neon light You're every broken hearted man's dream come true You wash away my misery, make everything alright Come tomorrow morning, I'll have a different point of view C2 But for tonight... Will you be my partner as I glide across the floor? Will you be there waiting... when I come back for more? How I wish it was her I was holdin' tight But, Bottle, it's just me and you tonight It's just me and the bottle tonight I really like the general idea. I'm just having trouble with one bit of imagery: a guy dancing with a bottle. Maybe I sure wish it was her hand I was holding so tight But if it's just a cold bottle of beer, then all right. It's me and the bottle tonight. ?? ^^^Yes ^^^ I think I can do something with that. That's awesome Mr. Kelly. I need to have the listener get a clear picture of that sad drunk oaf on the dance floor with his beer like a dance partner. Curtsying and twirling like a sad lovable fool. I'm going to try a live youtube demo tonight to run this by you guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 15, 2013 Author Moderators Share Posted March 15, 2013 Wtf? This is helping? Maybe it's me but I'm confused . I've picked up you don't like country, rap and brand names in songs. This is helpful? Snark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jerry_Lev Posted March 15, 2013 Members Share Posted March 15, 2013 Lee Knight wrote: Wtf? This is helping? Maybe it's me but I'm confused . I've picked up you don't like country, rap and brand names in songs. This is helpful? Snark I gave you a suggestion. You are rejecting it. And yet you're the only one who has a right to feel offfended? I like some Country, but I sometimes feel that Country doesn't like me, for some reason. I have nothing against Country and Rap as musical styles. Like light beer, they are very popular. My taste is irrelevant, because you are rejecting me from your potential audience. And you should, because I'm an outlier. Your song has a beter chance of success with a larger audience as is. Please forget I offered any opinion on your lyrics, it was clearly a mistake I won't make again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 15, 2013 Author Moderators Share Posted March 15, 2013 It's not 3/4 but the title has been bugging me. It lacks vim. Maybe "Dancing with the Bottle Tonight"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted March 15, 2013 Members Share Posted March 15, 2013 Maybe my brain is starting to work again (not guaranteed in a good way though).Anhow - I think your move on the title change is good. I would go one step further and imply the preposition, so you'll have , 'Dancing the bottle tonight'.This gives opportunities for lines like:'When I'm dancing the bottle tonight'So I'll be dancing the bottle tonight'See if there's any tread on these tyres. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted July 26, 2013 Author Moderators Share Posted July 26, 2013 I think she should call me up and explain that to me. I'm open minded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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