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  • Lost World Phase II

    I've taken all the input and tried to use what worked. The lyrics have been updated, the picture was "hiding in the bedside drawer" now, instead of an unstable frame, and we "rolled in the clover" instead of "planting crops". The only thing I didn't make work was a big double build into the last chorus per Justin O. Great idea but didn't quite float. I think if anything, Phase III might consist of trimming out bars here and there.


     


    So, fire away... as always, this is the way I get to make it better. Taking what you say and seeing what works for me. Ready, aim...


     


    https://soundcloud.com/albert-s-j-lee-knight-3/lost-world-09-01-13

    __________
    Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
    Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
    Jesus

  • #2
    Oh... And I added fiddle, piano, mandolinand octave up BGVs
    __________
    Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
    Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
    Jesus

    Comment


    • #3

      Typing as I listen:

      Ah instantly the mix seems a lot clearer, the voicings more focused.  And the mood comes across a lot better with the slightly down-shifted feel and the careful lyric changes.   The in and out vocal harmony really works too - nice and subtle but very effective.

       

      oops?!  is there a clam just after "bedside drawer"?  I'll go back to that again on a 2nd listen and double-check. 

       

      The little bit of mandolin is nice in spots - not sure I'd use it in the sections where you're singing, but in the little breaks between phrases it works super.

       

      And the "take it down" section (where "smilin' for the camera" comes in) is just right, and sets up the return to full band.  the old zoom in and then zoom out thing.

       

      Ok, I listened again to "bedside drawer" measure (the FIRST bedside drawer line, not the one near the end) - well....it's a bluegrassy sort of flatted note there that would work in a bluesier tune, but it seems out of place to my ear in this context.  The violin.  

       

      So I have to ask - is that a sampled violin? Sampled phrases?  Oh it sounds good, no question about that.  

       

      Much improved - lots of work, I can tell.  Still just a tiny bit too busy in spots to my taste, but I'm down to tweaks in my suggestions at this point.

       

      nat whilk ii

       

      Comment


      • Lee Knight
        Lee Knight commented
        Editing a comment

        CO-vered in dust. < That note < ? G - F# - E - E  In the key of E, but the chord there is a G major. So it's a bit of a head scratcher. Note how the second chorus' version of the same line sounds more right. Hmmm. I take a look and see what up here. Thanks.


         


        Yeah, that's a few fiddle riff loops at 120 in E. Timestreched to match. I just cut them up and reordered and did the odd pitch shift to get it work for what I needed. Making whole phrases at times this way. But the obvious riffs are for the most part just streched to fit.


         


        And as far as the mandos being too busy, I know you're right. I'll have to cut it back. I can never make those choices correctly so close after tracking. Thanks Nat, good stuff.



        nat whilk II wrote:

        Typing as I listen:


        Ah instantly the mix seems a lot clearer, the voicings more focused.  And the mood comes across a lot better with the slightly down-shifted feel and the careful lyric changes.   The in and out vocal harmony really works too - nice and subtle but very effective.


         


        oops?!  is there a clam just after "bedside drawer"?  I'll go back to that again on a 2nd listen and double-check. 


         


        The little bit of mandolin is nice in spots - not sure I'd use it in the sections where you're singing, but in the little breaks between phrases it works super.


         


        And the "take it down" section (where "smilin' for the camera" comes in) is just right, and sets up the return to full band.  the old zoom in and then zoom out thing.


         


        Ok, I listened again to "bedside drawer" measure (the FIRST bedside drawer line, not the one near the end) - well....it's a bluegrassy sort of flatted note there that would work in a bluesier tune, but it seems out of place to my ear in this context.  The violin.  


         


        So I have to ask - is that a sampled violin? Sampled phrases?  Oh it sounds good, no question about that.  


         


        Much improved - lots of work, I can tell.  Still just a tiny bit too busy in spots to my taste, but I'm down to tweaks in my suggestions at this point.


         


        nat whilk ii


         







    • #4
      Oh, that's they'd catch us! ^^^
      __________
      Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
      Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
      Jesus

      Comment


      • #5
        Yeah I do remember the reasoning behind those backups regarding more heart, etc. And your point was spot on I think. And it still is. But I do think it's moved a lot more in that direction you were suggesting earlier. Making sense out of the picture being pulled out of the drawer and all that, that kind of ties it together a bit more for me I think.

        I think aside from an extensive rewrite which is always possible in the future this is pretty much going to have to be where it lies for now at least.

        As game as I was about those background vocals, and I did try them very seriously, it didn't supply what you are referring to though I really wish it would've.

        I'm not sure how to give it more heart other than write another one. :-) And that is what I'm going to do!
        __________
        Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
        Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
        Jesus

        Comment


        • stickboymusic
          stickboymusic commented
          Editing a comment

          I reckon just fix that door/drawer and its good to go. It's so infectious

           

          It reminds me a lot of Ron Sexsmith who I am a massive fan of.

          No need for me to post this but it may help with some mix ideas should you wish to crank them backing vocals a little or something?

           


      • #6
        I love the ideas Stick
        __________
        Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
        Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
        Jesus

        Comment


        • #7

          OK, listened again, and here are some thoughts:

          The piano for first 13 seconds feels too loud, and this is now the second set of speakers I'm listening on.  The fiddle sits better on this radio than it did yesterday (though on these the slide guitar is pushed too far back.

          I know every prefers "drawer" as a match to "forgotten photograph", but I liked the "table" line better.  First off, the imagery of something being out in plain sight yet still overlooked just suits the theme of the song perfectly for me.  More importantly, though, table sings worlds better than drawer.

          I know the doubled bit just before the final chorus could work.  I wish there was some way to record how it plays in my head.

          Was never a fan of LCK's backing vox idea, but I do think the chorus might benefit from some "oohs" and "aahs".

          Great tune, Leek.

          Don't listen to Justin.
          LCK - 2/21/2012

          Comment


          • bee3
            bee3 commented
            Editing a comment

            This is awesome!

            Love the mandolin... and the violins.  Stickboy nailed it with the Ron Sexsmith comparison, particularly that album, which is among my favorites.

             


        • #8
          That is great stuff davie!!!
          __________
          Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
          Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
          Jesus

          Comment


          • #9
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-hVxqBidkU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

            Sorry its not clickable, on my phone

            Comment


            • #10
              Ahhh that's a shame it was shown on the BBC over here

              You will enjoy it though

              Comment


              • #11
                Maybe I'll rip it, then host a songwriting contest. Winner gets the vid.

                Comment


                • #12

                  MOG's got a dozen albums for streaming for R Sexsmith.

                   

                  Yeah, he's a new fav of mine from someone's reco in one of the recent monthly influence threads.   I'm going to have to list the Songwriting Workshop as an Influence, I think.  But there's no youtubes for the workshop..png" alt=":smileyindifferent:" title="Smiley Indifferent" />

                   

                  Listening now to the Long Player Late Bloomer album - the Believe It When I See It track is on this.   

                   

                  Wow, the Lanois thing is really in a fine incarnation here.  Or does Lanois do a Sexsmith thing?  I wouldn't know.  But it's that autumnal mood, lowkey presentation of poignant blue-tinged, lonesome beauty with that little slow vocal vibrato at the end of phrases.  Couldn't be any more listenable.

                   

                  The vocal has that autotune sound to my ears.  Not that every note has been "perfected (construed very loosely)" but it's that slightly filtered, phasey-hollowish sound that effects the entire vocal.  Combined with pretty heavy compression, it's such a common sound I guess it's just an era thing now.

                   

                  Has Sexsmith every collaborated with Elvis Costello?  Sexsmith is a natural in ways that Costello, for all his brilliant Picasso-like breadth and assertiveness, is mannered.  On the downtempo, bluesy cuts in particular.  I would like to think they could bring a vaguely Lennon/McCartney sort of blend of influences and tendencies to each other.  Don't need to say who fits which role...

                   

                  nat whilk ii

                  Comment


                  • #13
                    Back on topic.

                    That piano works like a mofo.
                    Lyrics Songs Demos Videos Covers Dj Facebook Tumblr

                    Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.

                    -Coco Chanel

                    Comment


                    • nat whilk II
                      nat whilk II commented
                      Editing a comment

                      rsadasiv wrote:
                      Back on topic.

                      That piano works like a mofo.

                       

                      hey, my opinions on anything  are always on topic.

                       

                      nat whilk ii

                       

                       


                  • #14
                    Sounds great. If you can splice in one more bar in the breakdown it will make that last chorus even bigger. Other than that, print it and send if off to Nashville.
                    Lyrics Songs Demos Videos Covers Dj Facebook Tumblr

                    Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.

                    -Coco Chanel

                    Comment


                    • rsadasiv
                      rsadasiv commented
                      Editing a comment

                      It's fascinating to hear the half-assed production suggestions from earlier iterations getting implemented with style and panache.


                  • #15
                    Nat, your piano ideas were so very helpful to me. I totally dig what you did to help me out with this. Thank you very much.
                    __________
                    Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
                    Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
                    Jesus

                    Comment


                    • nat whilk II
                      nat whilk II commented
                      Editing a comment

                      Lee Knight wrote:
                      Nat, your piano ideas were so very helpful to me. I totally dig what you did to help me out with this. Thank you very much.

                      Well aw shucks pardner, yer makin my horse blush.

                      Really - I get kinda pumped watching you work so hard on your material and being so non-egotistic and receptive to all the folks who comment from all sorts of angles and skill sets.  Sets the right example not just for a workshop environment, but for bigger things, too.  I get a lot out of this little party here.

                       

                      nat whilk ii



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