Harmony Central Forums
Announcement
Collapse
No announcement yet.

Rough live recording of a new idea

Collapse



X
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Rough live recording of a new idea

    Well it has been FAR too long since I have written anything.

     

    This idea just fell out, so far it is mainly just verse and a kind of chorus.

     

    I know it needs work but its good to just have "something".

     

    http://soundcloud.com/stickboy/firefly-in-the-night-live-demo

     

    Firefly (in the night)

     

    I used to shake like a leaf

    Like a leaf falling from autumn tree

    But now I'm steady as a rock

    As a rock standing strong in raging sea

    I still believe we'll find a way

    Whilst there's poetry in every word I say

    The dark heart of winter, the broken serenade

    Casts a shadow over everything we made

    So I will light your pretty eyes.....

    Like a firefly in the night


  • #2
    Nice. I love the descending melody though you might want to check it against MJ's Human Nature. I think you're good just be aware. Anyway, I like this and I hear lots of solid bits to highlight and explore in both the further writing of it and the arrangement/production of it. Cool stuff
    __________
    Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
    Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
    Jesus

    Comment


    • LCK
      LCK commented
      Editing a comment

      Lee Knight wrote:
      Nice. I love the descending melody though you might want to check it against MJ's Human Nature. I think you're good just be aware. Anyway, I like this and I hear lots of solid bits to highlight and explore in both the further writing of it and the arrangement/production of it. Cool stuff

      Very nice.

      One question. Do fireflies shine at night? I've only seen them in the evening hours. Once the sun goes down, they're done.

       


    • stickboymusic
      stickboymusic commented
      Editing a comment

      Lee Knight wrote:
      Nice. I love the descending melody though you might want to check it against MJ's Human Nature. I think you're good just be aware. Anyway, I like this and I hear lots of solid bits to highlight and explore in both the further writing of it and the arrangement/production of it. Cool stuff

      Just listened to the MJ song.

       

      I have to say I have never heard that before in my life.

       

      Ha!


  • #3
    I'm not surprised that this is as good as it is. I think what you have is kind of a verse chorus already, with the last four lines being repeatable as the chorus.

    I think if you wrote another verse section, did the chorus, an instrumental section and repeated the chorus again it could be done.

    Tree and sea sound like they should be plural or given an article to be single. An autumn tree. A raging sea.

    I would feel for the narrator more if he said "poetry in every word you say." If you went that way then it might make more sense to have it be "you will light my eyes..." or even "you always light my eyes..."
    ...

    Comment


    • stickboymusic
      stickboymusic commented
      Editing a comment

      rhino55 wrote:


      I would feel for the narrator more if he said "poetry in every word you say." If you went that way then it might make more sense to have it be "you will light my eyes..." or even "you always light my eyes..."

      I like that idea a lot

       

      How about

       

      I used to shake like a leaf

      Like a leaf CLINGING TIGHT TO autumn tree

      But now I'm steady as a rock

      As a rock standing strong in raging sea

      I still believe we'll find a way

      Whilst there's poetry in every word YOU say

      The dark heart of winter, the broken serenade

      Casts a shadow over everything WE'VE made

       

      (gonna add two line here)

      WILL YOU light MY DARKENED (maybe need a better word here?) eyes.....

      Like a firefly in the night













Working...
X