It's For Real

[ASoRelle]

Let me know what you guys think of this one. It's a simple love song, upbeat & happy. Got the idea for the agressive strum from the Who.

 

[stickboymusic]

Hey man

 

Post the lyrics - you will get more replies.

[Lee Knight]

OK... here are my thoughts.

 

First off, really nice strum groove. You've got that sound and feel nailed perfectly. The only issue with the strumming feel is the lack of any deviation from it. And that's where I see your first opportunity to really bring something more to the tune and your listener. 

 

Cart before the horse here... hmmm. OK!

 

The pre chorus is my favorite part of your song. :35 to :40, right there, your chord progression offers a cool respite from the previous chord pattern. But even more interesting to me, is the relationship of the melody to those chords. I'm not sure of the words, but you sing something like...

 

Go... feeling...

 

Particularly those two bits have a nice rub with the melody and chord. However... as soon as you go into the end of the prechorus. That... "I beleeee...ieve!", you lose me as a listener because of its predictable nature. You're singing the tonics of each chord, and each of those chords are simple IV.. V... which in itself is perfectly fine, but coupled with the ongoing strum pattern and the previous nice melody, I'm let down a tad. Why not double the length of this very cool section, and on the "believe" turnaround sing a little descending or ascending melody to give it motion. Right now it's just a blast of vocal air singing tonics. It could be so much more.

 

Then that 1st chorus. It's got so much potential to me. But a few things could really offer the listener the desire to engage in your hopefully soaring chorus. Which right now it isn't quite. Soaring I mean.

 

Why not put in some cool breaks from the strumming for the chorus. Sort of a kick in the nads and a slap cross the face to say, "WAKE UP!" I'm thinking Pete switching from Pinball to Baba O'Reilly windmills but with silent holes between as another hook. Think BTO's Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet or the like. So some sort of power chord motive then the "It's for real".  

 

Further, the gap between the chorus 1st and the 2nd vocal phrase feels long. I'd leave that 2nd phrase where it is because I liked the way you've staggered it so "It's for real" lands on the C this time instead of the G. But it feels like you need an additional sung phrase between those 2, the 1st and 2nd..

 

OK... that's enough of me blowing smoke. Looking forward to reading lyrics if you're inclined.