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Come a Little Closer (new slowed down resonator demo 10/17)

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  • Come a Little Closer (new slowed down resonator demo 10/17)

    Still messing around with open D.  I think I'm going to order a Gretsch Honney Dipper in the next couple weeks.

    Any and all comments welcome.

     

    Latest Demo

    Come a Little Closer (resonator) 

    Original Demo

    Come a Little Closer


    Come a little closer
    I can't see where you are
    Come a little closer
    Why else are you in this bar
    The freaks come out at night
    So should you
    You can't tell me
    You're not a freak too

    You can only fight it for so long
    You can only hide it for so long

    Come a little closer
    Loosen up that stance
    Come a little closer
    Show me how you dance
    The stars come out at night
    So should you
    This is your chance
    To be my star too

    You can only fight it for so long
    You can only hide it for so long

     

     EDIT:  The lyric after being forum'd

     

    Come a little closer
    I can't see who you are
    Come a little closer
    Why else are you in this bar
    The freaks come out at night
    So should you
    You can't tell me
    You're not a freak too

    You can only fight it, fight it, fight

    ...

  • #2

    rhino55 wrote:

    Still messing around with open D.  I think I'm going to order a Gretsch Honey Dipper in the next couple weeks.


    Any and all comments welcome.


     


    Come a Little Closer



    Come a little closer
    I can't see where you are
    Come a little closer
    Why else are you in this bar
    The freaks come out at night
    So should you
    You can't tell me
    You're not a freak too

    You can only fight it for so long
    You can only hide it for so long




    Very cool!!! I looked up a Honey Dipper. Like a steel faced Dobro. Well, by all means! That seems like it would fit you to a tee. So... I love it. The melodic rhythm of your opening line grabs with teeth. Nice. I do feel that halfway through the verse and into the chorus it loses that bite of the first line though. Only through lack of development.


     


    The first thing that came into my mind, and only one idea out many I'm sure, is to double up on your cadence of those last 4 lines of the verse.


    The freaks come out at night, so should you
    You can't tell me, you're not a freak too


     


    To give a sense of racing into that chorus. So the 1st half of the verse would have that cool JJ Cale thing, but then you get more Ry Cooder on it and quicken to pace and frequency of the story.


     


    Similarly, with your chorus, it totally works but feels to me like it needs more rhythm in the lyrics. Maybe...


     


    You can only fight it, fight it, fight... for so long
    You can only hide it, hide it, hide... for so long


     


    Or not. Awesome start dude.

    __________
    Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
    Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
    Jesus

    Comment


    • Lee Knight
      Lee Knight commented
      Editing a comment

      Oh... and I absolutely love the blurred lines between the minor and the major. That's awesome. That's totally playing within trad boundaries but stretching them nicely. Very cool once again.


    • Oswlek
      Oswlek commented
      Editing a comment

      Lee Knight wrote:

       

      Similarly, with your chorus, it totally works but feels to me like it needs more rhythm in the lyrics. Maybe...

       

      You can only fight it, fight it, fight... for so long
      You can only hide it, hide it, hide... for so long

       

      Or not. Awesome start dude.


      ^That leaped into my mind when listening and it sounded awesome.  I hope you incorporate it, Ryan.


  • #3

    rhino55 wrote:

    Still messing around with open D.  I think I'm going to order a Gretsch Honney Dipper in the next couple weeks.

    Any and all comments welcome.

     

    Come a Little Closer


    Come a little closer
    I can't see where you are
    Come a little closer
    Why else are you in this bar
    The freaks come out at night
    So should you
    You can't tell me
    You're not a freak too

    You can only fight it for so long
    You can only hide it for so long

    Come a little closer
    Loosen up that stance
    Come a little closer
    Show me how you dance
    The stars come out at night
    So should you
    This is your chance
    To be my star too

    You can only fight it for so long
    You can only hide it for so long

     

     


    I love it. I love the guitar, the vibe, the storyline.

    A couple things lyrically:

    Come a little closer
    I can't see where you are

    This makes sense only if the guy is drunk. It would make more sense to say that he can't see who she is, not where she is. But if he's drunk, then it kind of works.

    Why else are you in this bar
    The freaks come out at night

    This works better than what you sing on the track because there you're repeating the word come, but if it's a matter of what works rhythmically, then I'd let it slide.

    “Good Vibrations” was probably a good record but who's to know? You had to play it about 90 bloody times to even hear what they were singing about. What’s next? Rock opera? —Pete Townshend, Melody Maker Interview, 1966.

    Comment


    • #4
      I see what you did there with the dear.

      So the doubled up cadence works pretty well. I might leave the same amount of space musically and add some background "come a little closer" maybe make it sound like a megaphone or something. I'll have to get in a band setting to see if that works.
      ...

      Comment


      • nat whilk II
        nat whilk II commented
        Editing a comment

        I like this one a lot  - it's all going to be in the full band treatment I think.  This is like down and dirty  blues more than anything.  If the band brings in what G. Harrison called "the little bits" (ie short lead phrases and percussion accents and fills and a couple full stops in the right places,)   I don't think it will need more chord changes.  Keeping that evil-intention slow pulse on one major/minor uneasy chord for such a long time will make the simple changes in the chorus all that more satisfying...don't scratch it until it really itches a while later sort of thing. 

         

        Ryan you're a natural - 

         

        nat whilk ii

         

         


    • #5
      Yes indeed
      __________
      Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
      Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
      Jesus

      Comment


      • rhino55
        rhino55 commented
        Editing a comment

        Borrowed a resonator last night.  Recorded another demo incorporating some of the changes you guys mentioned.  I also played it a little slower.  Which tempo do you guys prefer?

        Come a Little Closer (resonator)


    • #6

      rhino55 wrote:

      Still messing around with open D.  I think I'm going to order a Gretsch Honney Dipper in the next couple weeks.

      Any and all comments welcome.

       

      Latest Demo

      Come a Little Closer (resonator) 



      This is great, but isn't it a bit too slow to accurately convey the feeling of being onstage in a noisy bar?

      “Good Vibrations” was probably a good record but who's to know? You had to play it about 90 bloody times to even hear what they were singing about. What’s next? Rock opera? —Pete Townshend, Melody Maker Interview, 1966.

      Comment


      • rhino55
        rhino55 commented
        Editing a comment
        LCK, as far as conveying the feeling of being onstage in a noisy bar goes... that's not really what I'm going for. I mentioned that earlier because most of the experience I have in bars is being on stage and... write what you know, right?

        That's actually one of the reasons I liked the "who" instead of "where" suggestion. It works given my experience but also brings a broader meaning to the table. For me this is all about getting somebody to loosen up and dance.

    • #7
      I agree with O about the "Fight its" but however you do it, it is a nice addition and change up
      __________
      Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
      Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
      Jesus

      Comment


      • #8
        You played it with band or solo?
        __________
        Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
        Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
        Jesus

        Comment


        • rhino55
          rhino55 commented
          Editing a comment

          solo

          I did a gig with two other songwriters, where we each play a solo set and then all play together trading off songs.

          The fact that it worked solo, let's me know that when I get it with a band, it's going to work really well.  (at least that's what I'm telling myself)













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