Jump to content

Pride


Lee Knight

Recommended Posts

  • Moderators

Pride

 

V1

Pride... and you keep it all inside

Try to hide those tears you cry

With your foolish pride

 

V2

Foolish pride... and you leave without a sound

And you won't come around

It's your foolish pride

 

Bridge

If you live to be 100

All you dreams might not come true

But you will revel in your life

In the dreams and things your tried

If you lose that foolish pride

 

V3

Pride... makes you do the things you do

Makes you put it all on you

It's your foolish pride

 

Bridge2

So you carry the weight

And there's always so much more to prove

And you watch life passing by

Have you never wondered why

You cling to this foolish pride

 

V4

Pride... and you keep it all inside

Try to hide those tears you cry

With your foolish pride

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Great topic and basic feel.  I really wonder what kind of treatment you have in mind for this - slow country ballad?  sad Cat Stevens-ish solo acoustic?  big Sinatra sort of heartfelt production?   I'm hearing it something like Alfie.  

 

One bit of a disconnect - there's the pride that's holding someone back from risking failure, that's clear (at least I'm getting that).  I'm not sure how tears work into that.  Hiding tears can be a sort of therapist's angle - you need to let it out and have the catharsis.  But how does that relate to pride?  I mean I can imagine scenarios in which the two relate, but they don't seem connected in the lyrics.  Seems like two different angles at once - doesn't strike with one single sharp arrowhead of poignancy.

 

But it's a song, no question.  Just needs a more clearly defined "issue" concerning which pride is the symptom.

 

nat whilk ii

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Good topic, but a tough one to do.

At the moment you've got almost all tell and no show, so the Bridges lean towards 'preachy'.

The moment I started reading, my mind jumped to Tombstone Blues:

Now the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside

He walks with a swagger and he says to be bride

"Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride

You will not die, it's not poison".

Is it relevant to what you are doing? - I dunno.

For my taste, your turn of phrase is too straight up and down. If you're going to sing about pride, then I think some choice metaphors and some unexpected turn of phrase is needed to deliver the idea.

I dunno for sure - just thinking aloud.


 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators


nat whilk II wrote:

 

Great topic and basic feel.  I really wonder what kind of treatment you have in mind for this - slow country ballad?  sad Cat Stevens-ish solo acoustic?  big Sinatra sort of heartfelt production?   I'm hearing it something like Alfie.  

 

 

 

One bit of a disconnect - there's the pride that's holding someone back from risking failure, that's clear (at least I'm getting that).  I'm not sure how tears work into that.  Hiding tears can be a sort of therapist's angle - you need to let it out and have the catharsis.  But how does that relate to pride?  I mean I can imagine scenarios in which the two relate, but 
they don't seem connected in the lyrics.  Seems like two different angles at once - doesn't strike with one single sharp arrowhead of poignancy.

 

 

 

But it's a song, no question.  Just needs a more clearly defined "issue" concerning which pride is the symptom.

 

 

 

nat whilk ii

 

 

Thanks Nat. I think your need for clarity is well founded. However, I'm not so sure I see the hiding of tears being so far removed from anything else one does when they're too proud. I do see what you're saying and that helps a lot to inspire me to want to focus this a bit. Tighten it up. You got my wheels spinning and looking at this from a new angle.

 

Thanks you sir...

 

As far as style, it was written with a cross between an Everly's parallel harmony thing with Holly/Beatles punchy changes. That is being tempered to a fingerpicked early verse building to full drums electric, etc. The slow build thing I think. Indie Folk Pop style.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

oldgitplayer wrote:

Good topic, but a tough one to do.

At the moment you've got almost all tell and no show, so the Bridges lean towards 'preachy'.

The moment I started reading, my mind jumped to Tombstone Blues:

Now the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside

He walks with a swagger and he says to be bride

"Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride

You will not die, it's not poison".


Is it relevant to what you are doing? - I dunno.

For my taste, your turn of phrase is too straight up and down. If you're going to sing about pride, then I think some choice metaphors and some unexpected turn of phrase is needed to deliver the idea.

I dunno for sure - just thinking aloud.


 

I like your idea of working a metaphor. I'm liking the tell not show feel of it though. This is a co-write with Dean Smith who worked on Sandstone Heart with me. The tone feels like the kind of thing I want to sing right now. Sort of preachy I guess. I think this guy deserves to preach a little after dealing with her foolish pride as he does. :)

 

For now at least, until not. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 


Lee Knight wrote:

 

 

Pride

 

 

 

V1

 

Pride... and you keep it all inside

 

Try to
hide those tears you cry

 

With your foolish pride

 

 

 

V2

 

Foolish pride... and
you leave without a sound

 

And
you won't come
back
around

 

It's your foolish pride

 

 

 

Bridge

 

If you live to be 100

 

All your dreams might not come true

 

But you will revel in your life

 

In the dreams and things your tried

 

If you lose that foolish pride

 

 

 

V3

 

Pride... makes you do the things you do

 

Makes you put it all on you

 

It's your foolish pride

 

 

 

Bridge2

 

So you carry the weight

 

And there's always so much more to prove

 

And
you watch life passing by

 

Have you never wondered why

 

You cling to this foolish pride

 

 

 

V4

 

Pride... and you keep it all inside

 

Try to
hide those tears you cry

 

With your foolish pride

 

Nice. I like the idea of an Everly's kind of tune, dual acoustic guitars, etc.

I'm not sure if this would work lyrically as is or not, though. It's a great topic, but the things I've put in bold are what I would call concrete rather than abstract. They're actions, not thoughts and feelings.

This might be pull-off-able as is, but I'd rather have a little more show and a little less tell.

But I could be wrong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...