All in Good Time - UPDATED AND DONE. Thanks!

[Oswlek]

FINAL - OK, so that wasn't the final.    Tamed vocal, new final mix.

 

FINAL MIX 18

 

 

 

Final EDIT:  I decided that, yes, the ride was too loud.  After automating that, the clouds parted and the nuance of the snare was more audible, and I made some minor revisions to that as well.  Finished.  I am very proud of this one.

Final

 

EDIT:  After getting around to side chaining the bass/kick, I could finally hear that the kick sample wasn't doing much for me.  Prior to that, I thought it was just something wonky with my cheap bass.  Changed the sample and played with the velocity and volume of the kick track, sounds much cleaner now.  

Also did touch more automation on the vocals/guitars as well as velocity work on the drums, as well as passing the cymbals through tape saturation to soften that.

The only question remaining for me (and that I'm hoping to get some feedback on) is whether the snare/ride should be gained down at all.  If not, I can live with this as a final.  

Thanks for all the help and tolerating the bumps.  

Mix 11 (dead link)

-------------------------

 

 

 

Working on putting together a demo, but wanted to run the lyric through the gauntlet before tracking.   This was posted once before, very early on, but I thought a reset was best.  Here is the line that was scribbled as the main theme I'm going for.

I'm left behind waiting patiently for an arrival that may not come soon, but will come... all in good time.

I'm fine with being opaque, though there are limits to everything.    Anything need serious overhauling?

V1

Anywhere, anyway you are

All in good time

With a word, whether near or far

All in good time

 

(interlude)

 

Whispered on a gentle breeze

All in good time

 

C

When I'm alone

My thoughts return to you

When I'm alone I can hear

You silently drawing near

In time

 

V2

Scattered leaves of red and brown

All in good time

Tattered dreams swept off the ground

.......

 

C

When I'm alone

My mind returns to you

When I'm alone I can tell

The sound that I know so well

When I'm alone I can here

You silently drawing near

In time

 

At one point, V1 was another line longer, with this as the final line (after the wind - trimmed because the melodic flow is stronger):

 

By empty swings and swaying trees.

 

If something isn't working now, I'd love ideas on how to work that concept back in.

Thanks! 

[rsadasiv]

Letter from St. Paul to the Galatians:

 

Now I say, That the heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all;

But is under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the father.

Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world:

But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law,

To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons.

And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.

Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.

[rsadasiv]

Less cryptically, I think "in the fullness of time" is a great phrase, and if you cut v2 and add something a little more explicitly Christian I think this could work well as a CCM song.

[rickidoo]

 

What if you reversed the position of the "good time", and then replace "all in good time" with the rounder "somewhere in time"...

 

V1

somewhere in time

Anywhere, anyway you are

All in good time

With a word, whether near or far

 

 

(interlude)

somewhere in time

Whispered on a gentle breeze

 

 

C

When I'm alone

My thoughts return to you

When I'm alone I can hear

You silently drawing near

In time

 

V2

somewhere in time

Scattered leaves of red and brown

somewhere in time

Tattered dreams swept off the ground

.......

 

C

When I'm alone

My mind returns to you

When I'm alone I can tell

The sound that I know so well

When I'm alone I can here

You silently drawing near

In time

[Oswlek]

Not doable, unfortunately.  Those "AIGT" parts are tied to a very specific melody point that cannot be altered, though your idea makes more sense.  

[LordBTY]

The song is generally really good and a great listen. There are some issues, however:

First thought that's more about arrangement: The borrowed chord initially needs to be handled a bit better. The delivery was a bit too straight to the point and hit my ear wrong. Otherwise, it's surprising and fantastic. 

Song issues:

"When I'm alone I can hear....  you silently drawing near"

The prosody on the first half of that implies there's going to be a big definitive, heartfelt statement.  But the delivery of the concluding phrase is awkward, unnatural and the phrase itself doesn't carry enough sentimental weight. Try

"When I'm alone I can hear... you draaaaw-iiiiiing neaaaar"

as a starting point.

--

I listened to the song without reading the lyrics at first. I didn't even hear the 'in time'. Emphasize this phrase more by stressing both words. The 'in' is being completely lost. Use a strong cadence on the 'in' and revolve it on the 'time'.  You're singing:

When I'm alone I can hear

You silently drawing near in time...

When you want to be singing:

When I'm alone I can hear

You silently drawing near..

in... time...

---

I think someone might have pointed this out by the fact that you've changed it, but the 'cos' before the chorus sounds too colloquial and conversational within context. Either change it to 'and' or remove it. 

 

 

Generally good song, but some tweaks are need for optimum impact. 

 

[Oswlek]

Thanks B.

1)  What is a "borrowed chord"?  I don't know what you are saying there.

2)  I can't drop "silently" while starting at the same spot.  I could delay the start of the singing on that part of the line a second and sing "drawing near" the same as I do now.  Anyone else think that is a good idea?

FWIW, I think this is more of a singing issue than a prosody one.  I just get tired by that time and when I track this again, I'll do those lines separately so I can give it more gusto.

3)  Good call on stressing "in" more.  I'll try that next time.

[LCK]

 

---

LordBTY wrote:

 

 

The song is generally really good and a great listen. There are some issues, however:

First thought that's more about arrangement:

The borrowed chord initially needs to be handled a bit better. The delivery was a bit too straight to the point and hit my ear wrong. Otherwise, it's surprising and fantastic. 

Song issues:

 

"

When I'm alone I can hear....  you silently drawing near

"

The prosody on the first half of that implies there's going to be a big definitive, heartfelt statement.  But the delivery of the concluding phrase is awkward, unnatural and the phrase itself doesn't carry enough sentimental weight. Try

"

When I'm alone I can hear... you draaaaw-iiiiiing neaaaar

"

as a starting point.

 

--

 

I listened to the song without reading the lyrics at first. I didn't even hear the 'in time'. Emphasize this phrase more by stressing both words. The 'in' is being completely lost. Use a strong cadence on the 'in' and revolve it on the 'time'.  You're singing:

When I'm alone I can hear

You silently drawing near in time...

 

When you want to be singing:

When I'm alone I can hear

You silently drawing near..

in... time...

---

 

I think someone might have pointed this out by the fact that you've changed it, but the 'cos' before the chorus sounds too colloquial and conversational within context. Either change it to 'and' or remove it. 

 

 

 

 

 

Generally good song, but some tweaks are need for optimum impact. 

 

 

---

 

This is quite lovely, Justin.

A few notes: on the verses, I think there needs to be a feeling of resolution on the second time through your basic melodic theme.

"Anywhere, anywhere you are,

all in good time.

With a word, whether near or far,

all in good time."

 

To my ear that second "all in good time" sounds much too similar to the first one. I think there's a slight change in the harmonics, but I think the melody line needs to rise up and hover for a moment, a note or two above what you're singing now instead of falling on the same note as in the first incarnation of the line.

As for "When I'm alone my thoughts return to you..." my ear wants to hear a different note on the last word -- perhaps a half-interval there rather than a whole (?) -- but in any event I want something warmer both melodically and harmonically.

The second "When I'm alone" gives us variation in volume but again, I think the melody line needs to go down an interval or two from where you're at now. Right now it sounds like you want us to feel what's going on but you're not feeling it -- and not letting us feel it -- melodically the way you could. JMO.

I think "Silently drawing near..." is perfect, melodically-speaking. The vocal is a little mushy, but that's a performance issue, not a songwriting one.

For "Tattered trees swept off the ground..." I think the melody line needs to come down instead of go up at the end. For an idea of what I mean the melody line on "the sound that I know so well..." is both surprising and yet feels exactly right. And then "silently drawing near in time" is, again, perfect. But the "when I'm alone" part doesn't feel as organic, or as sweetly beautiful, as those other bits do.

All that said, this is a very nice piece which just needs a few tweaks, IMO, to be really fantastic.

Oh, and the instrumentation is very nice too! Really well done.

 

[Lee Knight]

Some times a wide one can do the trick, like from 1 - 2 octaves wide

[Oswlek]

Backing vox has been EQ'd and passed through a new reverb as well as automated back in a few key spots.

 

Electric guitars have been given a new coat of polish, with several pan swaps and automation to keep them from stumbling over each other.  I also gave the chorus ending lead bits a boost at 2,000 to make them pop more.  Also retracked a rough spot or two.

 

Lastly, I moved the bass fill in C2 to a new location, so it flows with the tune better.

 

I neglected to enable one of my mastering plug-ins, so it is a little quiet, but up the volume a few clicks and it gets the idea across.  Anything problematic jumping out or is this ready to be finalized with a proper export?

 

http://picosong.com/kmUA/

 

Thanks everyone!  And Lee. 

[Lee Knight]

Wow. I closed my eyes and got lost, Beautiful...

[bee3]

Very nicely done.