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MY FIRST MUSIC FORUM AND SONG AND LYRICS AND CLIP :)

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  • MY FIRST MUSIC FORUM AND SONG AND LYRICS AND CLIP :)

    Hi,
    My name is Amir from Tel-Aviv and I LOVE music!
    I'm here to here your opinion about my music (good and bad) and hope to learn from it.

    Here is my new song (and clip).
    hope you like it 

    Lyrics:
    All she said you and me
    All she said meant to be
    All she gave me reason to bealive
    When she said she will never live

    Where are you now
    What are you doing to me
    Where are you now

    All she said hold me tiet
    When we stay up all night
    All she said trust in me
    All I have Is what she said to me

    Where are you now
    What are you doing to me
    Where are you now

    The wind you feel I feel it to
    The sky you see Is not just for you
    We are on the same road Don't turn your head away
    Maybe some day....

    Where are you now
    What are you doing to me
    Where are you now

    the song:

    Tnx


  • #2

    Great!

    I'll let others discuss the lyric, but melodically it worked great for me.  You have as much to teach as you have to learn.  

    There were only two spots that sounded like they might warrant rethinking.

    1:58 - I LOVE the chord that comes in here, but I'm not crazy about the chosen vocal melody.  Can't explain why or what I would do differently, but it doesn't hit home for me.

    2:24 - The guitar slide up is outstanding.... so good in fact that I am really disappointed when the vocals reappear so suddenly.  My ear is pining for a guitar solo there instead of just going back to the chorus.

    Great stuff, Amir!

    Don't listen to Justin.
    LCK - 2/21/2012

    Comment


    • #3

      AmirMaor wrote:

      Hi,
      My name is Amir from Tel-Aviv and I LOVE music!
      I'm here to here your opinion about my music (good and bad) and hope to learn from it.

      Here is my new song (and clip).
      hope you like it 

      Lyrics:
      All she said you and me
      All she said meant to be
      All she gave me reason to bealive
      When she said she will never live

      Where are you now
      What are you doing to me
      Where are you now

      All she said hold me tiet
      When we stay up all night
      All she said trust in me
      All I have Is what she said to me

      Where are you now
      What are you doing to me
      Where are you now

      The wind you feel I feel it to
      The sky you see Is not just for you
      We are on the same road Don't turn your head away
      Maybe some day....

      Where are you now
      What are you doing to me
      Where are you now

      the song:

      Tnx


      I enjoyed the tune very much.

      “Good Vibrations” was probably a good record but who's to know? You had to play it about 90 bloody times to even hear what they were singing about. What’s next? Rock opera? —Pete Townshend, Melody Maker Interview, 1966.

      Comment


      • oldgitplayer
        oldgitplayer commented
        Editing a comment

        I certainly enjoyed listening to this, so I join the others in saying so. Good musically.

        Lyrically - it suffers a little from English not being your 1st language. But don't take that too badly - most of our songs need some extra work even when English is our home language.

        There are 2 areas where the song could benefit from some additional work:

        1. There are a few spots where the English isn't quite right, but I understand what you mean.

        2. Sometimes your vocal phrasing isn't quite right - the emphasis would be better placed on a different  word in the sentence.

        Do you write any songs in your own language?

         


    • #4
      I love the overall vibe and dig the guitar fills. It is, for me, a very cool blend of American Rock with a very unique and hip melodic sense.

      You need, and we need, to workshop a work in progress here with us. Nice. Ditto what all was said by previous posters.
      __________
      Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
      Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
      Jesus

      Comment


      • AmirMaor
        AmirMaor commented
        Editing a comment

        Thank you all for the honest comments.

         

        About my voice, I know I have a little accent, but in some way Ithuth (I hope) it will sound special and not another amarican voice (forgive me for the comper, but like "Schwarzenegger" with his wird accent...it do some filling else).

        I do have some music in hebrew but some how this one looks and work much better for me (with the accent), again, I think becuse it's more special from just another midium voice in hebrew...

        *people like story, something different, no?

         

        Tnx again for the comment, i'll take them siriusly. 



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