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The Laws Governing Drummers

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  • The Laws Governing Drummers

    Drummer Law #1: No matter what happens, It's ALWAYS the drummers' fault.
    Drummer Law #2: The drummers' song suggestions are never valid.
    Drummer Law #3: Drummers are expected to help other musicians haul and set up equipment, but must NEVER be given any help with their equipment.
    Drummer Law #4: No matter how fast anyone else counts off the song, you are required to achieve the correct tempo immediately upon starting to play. (See rule #1)
    Drummer Law #5: Even though you may have WAY more experience and knowledge, NEVER adjust the PA.
    Drummer Law #6: No matter how chronicly late any other members of the band may be, you must ALWAYS arrive early.
    Drummer Law #7: Drummers are required to be hidden from view by lead singers or horn players.
    Drummer Law #8: The drummer will always be mistaken for banquet staff at any large function.
    Drummer Law #9: Never EVER should the drummer be allowed to speak to the audience over the PA between songs.
    Drummer Law #10: If the drummer quits a band because there are few gigs being booked, said band will put 110% into marketing itself with the new drummer, and will become VERY busy.

    Good playing can hide a crappy drumset, but even the best drumset can't hide crappy playing.

    Have no fear of perfection. You'll never reach it.- Salvador Dali

    Some of the best players that I know really can't play the drums well, but they play music superlatively well. - Jim Chapin

  • #2
    i like number 4. i remember how pissed my old band got when i ignored the proper tempo, and substituted their tempo. they just never understood, lol.
    i miss you, mark
    r.i.p. rudy


    • Drumstix101
      Drumstix101 commented
      Editing a comment

      Yes sir! #4 is a constant. I am having a problem with a bandmate that seems to ignore my count in. I can come in with a 120 BPM stick click and he starts out at 95. Then I hear about it!

  • #3

    Drummer Law #11: When the guitar speeds up, the drummer is dragging.  When the guitar players slows down, the drummer is rushing.

    <div class="signaturecontainer"><b><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5">P E A C E</font></font></b><br />
    <br />
    <font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="1">&quot;A band that is not appearing is disappearing&quot;</font> -- </font><font size="1"><b><font face="Comic Sans MS">Art Blakey</font></b></font><br />
    <br />
    <font size="1">&quot;</font><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="1">If you can't play the blues you might as well hang it up&quot;</font></font> -- <font size="1"><b><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font face="Comic Sans MS">Dexter Gordon</font></font></b></font><br />
    <br />
    <font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="2"><font color="Blue"><a href="http://myspace.com/boomboomdrums" target="_blank">http://myspace.com/boomboomdrums</a></font></font></font><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="1"><ul><li>Yamaha Stage Custom Drum Kit (Marina Green)</li>
    <li>Ziljain, Paiste, Wuhan Cymbals</li>
    <li>1972 Slingerland wood Snare Drum</li>
    <li>KORG TR keyboard</li>
    <li>Cubase LE</li>
    <li>Tascam US-122 USB Interface</li>
    <li>George Steck Baby Grand Piano</li>


    • 1001gear
      1001gear commented
      Editing a comment

      Also, Drummer Law #4 which states that no matter how fast anyone else counts off the song, you are required to achieve the correct tempo immediately upon starting to play, is almost always enforced to include required tempo lock regardless of actual tempo and simultanously groove locked to each band member's individual feel.

    • the DW
      the DW commented
      Editing a comment

      boomboomdrums wrote:

      Drummer Law #11: When the guitar speeds up, the drummer is dragging.  When the guitar players slows down, the drummer is rushing.

      I believe that's covered by #1.

  • #4

    Great post DW! I got a good chuckle out of it. They are sad but true. We get all the blame! LOL!!!

    "If you can't SAY something with your instrument, try sellin' cars."-
    The late, great Tony Williams

    — Sonor Designer Maple shell (heavy) 8 pc. for studio
    — Premier Genista 7 pc. for live gigs
    — Tama Silverstar "Metro" 4pc. for certain live gigs.
    — Paiste, Bosphorus and Sabian cymbals, depending on what I'm doin'.
    — Small collection of assorted snare drums to suit my mood.


    • the DW
      the DW commented
      Editing a comment

      Yup. The sad part for me is that I've experienced every single one of those laws personally.

      Oh well.... that's what I get for being a drummer. When people come up to me and tell me, "Gee, I wish I could play the drums." I tell them, "No, you don't!"


  • #5

    #3 and 6 were true for me! I always liked to show up and set up early so that I could warm up or relax before a gig. I mostly liked hauling my own equipment because it was my stuff, but I sure would have loved some help with hauling the stands after I just help tote their amps in! :cathappy:

    "As in drug rehab? or derhh, I crashes muh motorcycle rehab??" (Cross Eyed Mary) *** One of the founding members of The Geezer Guild***


    • rayboomboom
      rayboomboom commented
      Editing a comment

      #12 the drummers drums are irelevant.  That means you get half the space you need to set up and the guit player gets to put his amp in front of the bass drum.  Oh yeah, the drums go in the corner where the standing waves like to hang out.

  • #6
    So is this why its so hard to find a decent drummer?
    -&quot;Who is John Galt?&quot;-


    • 1001gear
      1001gear commented
      Editing a comment