Moderators isaac42 Posted November 6, 2015 Moderators Share Posted November 6, 2015 In one of the bands I play for, I replaced a friend of mine. He needed someone to sub for him for a show and asked me. I filled in for him, and fit in well with the band. My friend was looking to reduce his work with this band in order to take on another project more suited to his desires, in this case an 80s show band. So me becoming the regular bass player for this band suited everyone. So here's what disturbs me. My friend and I were both certain that this band would like having me around because I'm a pretty good singer as well as a decent bass player. But from the start, the bandleader has been telling me that I'm better than my friend. Let's call him Bob. Bob works very hard to get his parts right. I think of him as a bit better than I as a bass player, but not much of a singer. But to have people - not just our bandleader, but long time fans of the band - tell me how much better I am than Bob, well, on the one hand, it's flattering, because I think very highly of Bob. But it also makes me feel a bit disloyal, as if accepting their compliments were somehow dissing Bob, which I really don't want to do. But I don't want to argue with fans, or be ungracious about accepting their compliments. So I smile and say thank you. But part of me wonders, am I really better than Bob? Probably not. Most likely it's just that my style fits better with this band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DeepEnd Posted November 6, 2015 Members Share Posted November 6, 2015 Maybe you could say something to that effect: "I dunno. I think it's probably just that my style is a better fit in this case. Bob is a friend of mine and a great musician." I get loyalty and being a stand up guy. You seem to be both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators isaac42 Posted November 6, 2015 Author Moderators Share Posted November 6, 2015 I try. Excellent response, though. I think I'll use it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Maybe you could say something to that effect: "I dunno. I think it's probably just that my style is a better fit in this case. Bob is a friend of mine and a great musician." I get loyalty and being a stand up guy. You seem to be both. That's a excellent suggestion. It doesn't diss the fan, but shows loyalty and respect to a friend and fellow bassist. Great post DeepEnd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DeepEnd Posted November 8, 2015 Members Share Posted November 8, 2015 ^ Thanks. As isaac42 said, "I try." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WRGKMC Posted November 9, 2015 Members Share Posted November 9, 2015 You'd be surprised at how people determine what's better. A Persons looks or personality can make people think one player is better then another. Even the energy level can be mistaken for skill. Music can become a "sport" for some when it comes to playing out live. There's surely no reason to feel bad because you wound up being good for that team. I wouldn't let any pats on the back from an audience make you feel bad or inflate your ego. Half the time fans don't know the difference between how well people are playing the notes. All they see is people enjoying themselves when they play. Fact is when you play out live you meet all kinds of players. If you're professional, you see it as a brotherhood of musicians. Even with those you may not get along with very well or those who fail to measure up as well as you'd like them to. Back when I first started playing out I had three different drummers I'd work with. They all knew each other well too. They all played in concert bands together back in school. I'd play with one for a year, then I'd play with the others. Fact was they were all good buddies and traded techniques and new music. People used to say so and so, is better then so and so. I'd just respond by saying they were all good. They were simply different players who specialized in different styles. One could hit drums harder then anyone I knew, one had more Jazz technique and the other had the gift of being able to improvise well. I used to do gigs with dual drummers and they would do cool things like switch drum sets during a solo. The people knew we were all buddies which is all that counted. I'd stick with what you posted. If someone asks, tell them you were recommended the other bassist because he wanted to make a change and find something that would suit his style better. Don't lent anyone make any more out of that. The truth wont be forgotten and you'll always respond the same when asked. He's likely got friends in that audience too. People can get caught up in playing political games and not even know it. They my pat you on the back today, tomorrow they may go to see your buddies band and quote what you say. If you're a stand up guy and your answer was honest, it will carry through when others quote you, even if they do add their own spin to it. That's "all" that counts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lug Posted November 9, 2015 Members Share Posted November 9, 2015 You'd be surprised at how people determine what's better. A Persons looks or personality can make people think one player is better then another. Even the energy level can be mistaken for skill. Lot of truth here. By my incredible good looks and sterling personality many assume I'm a decent bassist. Unfortunately, no amount of dreaminess on my part can overcome the butchering I do to a fretboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators isaac42 Posted November 10, 2015 Author Moderators Share Posted November 10, 2015 Nah, I've known for decades that, as I like to put it, "people listen with their eyes." But I like the analogy of a team. As with a sports team, the skill of the individual players is less important than how well they play together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nice keetee Posted November 11, 2015 Members Share Posted November 11, 2015 Nah, I've known for decades that, as I like to put it, "people listen with their eyes." But I like the analogy of a team. As with a sports team, the skill of the individual players is less important than how well they play together. be true to you and your current team music is a tricky team though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Nah, I've known for decades that, as I like to put it, "people listen with their eyes." But I like the analogy of a team. As with a sports team, the skill of the individual players is less important than how well they play together. Quoted for Truth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators isaac42 Posted November 12, 2015 Author Moderators Share Posted November 12, 2015 I'm currently playing for three different teams, and jamming with another! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DeepEnd Posted November 12, 2015 Members Share Posted November 12, 2015 I'm currently playing for three different teams, and jamming with another! To paraphrase Stephen Stills, "Love the band you're with." Seriously, first be true to yourself and your principles. The rest will follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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