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Band Drama


isaac42

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Had a bit of drama at rehearsal yesterday.

 

Rehearsals are regularly scheduled for Thursday at noon. Bob (guitarist, bandleader, owner of the studio) lives at the property. So does Gordy (drummer). The rest of us commute some 25 miles to get to the studio for rehearsals. The studio is in the Coast Range of Oregon. Not cold, certainly not cold like most of the country these days, but temperature was in the low 40's. Gordy had started a fire in the wood stove a couple of hours earlier, around ten AM. The studio was cool, but tolerable.

 

I arrived around noon, got out my bass turned on the amp. I was ready to go. Bob, Gordy and I sat around chatting. A while later Allan (harmonica, vocals) showed up and joined the conversation. Bob opened the door to smoke a cigarette. I could feel the cold outside air on my legs. Somewhere around a quarter or ten till one, David (guitarist) shows up. David hauls a fair amount of equipment. Two or three guitars, amp, pedal board. He brings in his first load, leaving the back door open. He and Allan had been to a concert recently, and Allan had brought him a CD of the band's music. They chat about the band and the concert for a while. I feel the cold air again, much more of it this time, as the back door was all the way open and had been open longer. Gordy tells them to stop shooting the {censored} and get the gear in so that the door can be closed. David goes to get the rest of his stuff inside, while Allan starts arguing that it's not his fault. Gordy points out that he'd been in two hours earlier to start the fire and warm up the studio, and doesn't appreciate his efforts going out the door. There's some passive-aggressive "Well, excuse me for..." on both sides, and then it happens. Gordy says, "{censored} you, Allan."

 

Allan goes ballistic. "No one says '{censored} you' to me in this band!" and he grabs his harmonica case and is out the door. I hear David pleading with him to calm down and stay for rehearsal, but he drives away. We rehearsed without him. We have a gig tonight. Should be interesting.

 

Apparently I hurt his feelings last week by asking him if it was possible to schedule his medical appointments for days other than Thursdays. In his mind, that constitutes "making light of his medical condition." Waddaya gonna do?

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Tell them to quit acting like spoiled High School Twerps, grow up and grow a set. People who cant keep their emotions under control in a pro situation needs to be set straight and make those emotions work in their music performing, not against each other. A band isn't about any one of you, its about performing for an audience. When a band get to the point where musicians feed on their co musicians emotions there is a serious problem there and the longer its left in the shadows the worse it gets. You got to get those issues out in the open and get people to commit to keeping their childish attitudes at home. Pro musicians are adults that handle things in adult manors and it goes well beyond the music. Its a way of life.

 

Ego stroking comes from the audience not the guy your working along side. If you're focused on impressing your band mates with your playing, you are definitely on the wrong path and are going to be gravely disappointed. A band is like any other business even if you don't play out for money. The object is to satisfy your audience first, If you do your job right "they" will repay you with their applause. If not, you at least have the pay at the end of the night.

 

If you work together as a team focused on that other team "the audience" and pull off some great plays together you win the game every time. If you have a jackass who thinks he's the only guy in the room and everyone else is subhuman, he needs to be taken down a notch and taught the facts of life. You don't get anywhere worthwhile in life without a good loyal team in back of you up.

 

This is where most bands blow it. They start thinking that applause is all for them and without them in the band it would be nothing. Truth is any band member can be replaced by any of a number of great musicians just itching to play out.

 

Sorry to rant here but the only way you can deal with kids is force them to be adults.

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I'd ask how old he is. Some times short nerves are cause by medical issues like High Blood pressure and alcohol. Or it can be he's having personal issues he's having a hard time coping with.

 

I got a guy who works for me on my day job whose overweight, and in poor general health. He's they type who goes into a tantrum when things don't go his way, Along with that the guy has a black cloud following him around. I've never seen someone have so much bad luck to such a degree and so often. Not a week goes by when something bad doesn't happen with him either screwing up or screwing up on him. Its like he has a guardian angel telling him to change his path in life yet he just keeps ignoring it and bad stuff keeps happening to him.

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Stress does bad things to people. The guy could be stressed by his personal life, day job or any of a number of things. Here on Earth where I live, we have to learn to control stress and our emotions or we will be completely consumed by them. Before I retired, I was a Project Controls Engineer on major projects for power plants, chemical plants, refineries, etc. In that position you are nobody's friend. The project seems to always be over budget, behind schedule or any combination of problems. You have to learn to handle stress without getting other people involved in your problems.

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